Cherry Blossom Adventures

• Firstly big congratulations to Sarah and Ryohei who should of gotton married today. They were filing the papers anyway, hope it all went by with out a hitch….Congratulations! All the best for your future together
• Well I have started to tell more people Shun and I are engaged….it still seems weird to say though…perhaps it comes with practice….like I still refer to him as my boyfriend in Japanese instead of fiance (Mainly because konyakusha, the word for fiance, is kind of weird)…I think we have a place for the wedding….It is thankfully the only thing that needs to be done before I return to Australia (book a place I mean)….I had no idea that there was so much stuff involved in a wedding though…really….It all seems a little crazy. Did you know you need a theme? Or at least a colour scheme? My mother has informed me of the above….
• I think I am going to sign up for 101 things in 1001 days…..Maybe start in April. Since writing my life list (Which I am still extremely proud of by the way) I have lacked some motivation and I thought that if I had an end date it might help…..plus with all the wedding stuff I have to do I thought it might be nice to include some of the wedding stuff in the list too….A couple of bloggers that I read are also doing it and they blog each time they cross something off….perhaps something like this would keep me more motivated.
• I have a lot of random photos from this month and now seems as good a time as any to post them! Firstly, I met my friend Jen`s baby boy last week and he was adorable….also got to see Jen and Emma who I had not seen in months and months…..It is hard to believe I will be gone in May, Jen in July and Emma most likely before I return to Japan in 2009….



• Second, The ume are out…And when the Ume come out it means Hinamatsuri is close!

• Thirdly, I don`t usually post many photos of my kindy kids here, although there is a school blog if you ever want to check it out which has lots of photos uploaded by Ai the owner if you are interested but this video was too good o pass by. Deanne, it is for you firstly and foremost since I know what a diehard hooper you are! Ahh..the video is screwing up my formatting….so if you want to see kids hooping go here…

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)

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H is for Happy times…

On Friday Shumpei and I got engaged….I know I have been slack with blogging in the last week or so and part of the reason is that I haven`t had time to sit down and write a post and part of it is I didn`t know how to put it all into words.

We had talked a lot about weddings and getting married etc and recently and we had decided that we would have the ceremony in Australia. I said to Shun on Friday that if we were going to get married in May (2009) then we would need to start planning otherwise then we should come back to Japan next June and then go back to Australia to get married later in the year 2009 or in 2010…and I asked him what he thought, and what he wanted to do and he said (Im translating and paraphrasing a little bit also) `Lets get married in May, lets get engaged` and I said Ok!

Hehe, there is nothing terribly romantic about it but I am over the moon ecstatic! There was no ring, or formal proposal and Shun still wishes to ask my dad for permisson in Australia but we have started to tell friends we got engaged and are planning on getting married in May next year….We have told my parents and his parents also (On Sunday because we were out in Chiba for dinner…..I was releived that they didn`t seem to mind it was going to be in Australia…and said they would come)

So yeah, I am engaged! To the love of my life, who I couldn`t imagine not being with….so it is indeed happy times!

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)

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G is for Growing up

When I was younger the thought of being in my 20`s was just so far away, not to mention it seemed so old and then on Monday I turned 23…I am heading towards that mid 20`s point yet half the time I still feel just like a child playing dress-ups and  pretend games and it as if I am just `acting` like an adult…

It almost doesn`t seem right…but here I am….all grown up. I think Shun is more of a child than me…but he assures me I am the more childish of the pair (While I think he is delusional) He assures me that he will  always be the one that is more mature, simply because he is four years older than I am.

Last year in July, my best friend from primary school, Mandy, came to visit me here in Tokyo…she is the kind of friend that when we see each other we talk and talk and talk catching up and then by the end of the conversation we are all caught up and it is nothing has changed. We can simply pick up from where we left off…I think this is a sign of true friendship. A friendship that has evolved through time…

See we met in preschool when we were four, and by eight years old we were inseparable. Sure we had our ups and down (we are both stubborn and opinionated) but this friendship has evolved over 19 years now…She is my oldest friend and I can still remember taking baths together, playing crazy board games, talking about our far off future weddings and secret crushes…. It just doesn`t seem possible that 19 years has now passed since we met (Or even that 6 years has passed since my 18th in which she threw up in the garden while my mum held back her hair and called her him to come and get her…)Even in the last 6 years we have grown up so much…finished uni, travelled, lived overseas, gone through boyfriends and we now both live away from home with our partners in our own apartments….It somehow just seems to grown up for us….

In five years I will be 28….married, and more than likely I will have a child. And here I am wondering, is that what makes you an aduld? Is that what kicks the `child` in you out? Do I even want the child in my kicked out? Can you really truly live your life and never feel completely `adult`?  I am still waiting for that `OMG, I am an adult` moment to hit me!

Anyway since this is all about growing up I thought I would share some photos of my recent 23rd Birthday. But it turns out I can`t because I did`t take my camera and the photos my friends uploaded onto facebook can not be transferred onto here (Although I did just spend the last 30 minutes trying)

But here is a rundown…We went to an Italian restaurant on the 58th floor of a building in Shinjuku, while I was still a bit under the weather I had a great time and I am so glad I didn`t cancel it!!! After dinner a group of us headed out to karaoke! Always good for a laugh and some fun! I got thoroughly spoilt!

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• After reading Gala`s site yesterday and seeing that she had made a list of resolutions for her week I thought it would be a good idea for me to start doing the same, especially with only another 2 1/2 to 3 months left in Tokyo…My resolutions for this week are. Study for a minimum of ten hours, no eating after 9:30pm, Go for 2 big walks for exercise, Take more photos outside, Make a walking play list on my ipod , Start working on at least one more thing from my life list, Blog at least three times this week (This is my 2nd post already), Do two loads of washing before Friday, No coffee after 8pm and eat at least two pieces of fresh fruit each day (including weekends!). So I started yesterday and so far so good….Haven`t decided what I will work on from my life list though yet…any suggestions?
• My friend Jen from Somewhere, Something (formally Delightful Jen) has started her own business…It launched today! If you like buttons or things made from vintage fabric then go check out her store maxifunbutton now!
• I joined another book challenge, although this one is pretty simple in its rules….Read 100 books in the year. I can do that… Especially if I count some of the special kids books I read at work (I read about 20 kids books a week to the kids for story times plus when they ask me to read to them during free-time, not to mention the books I read with my private students so I might start recording some of those special ones I read with them, my favourites at least that I will one day want to read with my kids)….I keep a list of books I read in my journal already (Although I should one day add it to my blog) and am up to about 25 for the year so far I think!!
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• Yes you heard me right in the first point. Study…Am on a bit of a Japanese study kick at the moment…I want to do 1kyuu at the end of this year or the following year and kanji and reading are my biggest problem areas and it will take me at least six months to learn all the kanji I need! Probably longer! I am usually pretty good at studying when I am on a bit of a study kick…mind you I didn`t do any yesterday!!!
• It was my birthday yesterday, a post will follow about the adventures! Maybe in G is for…
• Where do you start when planning a wedding? How long does it take? I should get started on that!
• Last week I left my pencil case at a post office and an elderly lady ran after me yelling `moshi moshi, moshi moshi` and the reason I didn`t turn around straight away is because I thought she was on the phone…It has been on my mind since. I want to know if she yelled moshi moshi because I was foreign or if she was just a strange lady who would of yelled moshi moshi at anyone!
• I am already filling in dates with stuff to do, and people to catch up with before I leave…It will be sad to leave Japan again, but exciting all the same. I will miss my friends here though, so much…..There is always something exciting happening! And they are such great people to be around..
• Could of sworn I had more to blab on about, but I guess my giant sneezing fit 10 minutes ago knocked the thoughts right out of my head! Have a good week everyone!

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post (and the posts before that in the `Encyclopedia of me`)

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F is for future…If you had asked me ten years ago or even five years ago if I thought the life I am living now is what I would of being living I probably would of laughed and said no way! But life takes you in strange directions, some stranger than others (like half way around the world)…

I handed in my notice at work today…I will finish up on April 11th. By then I will have worked at my current preschool for almost 18 months….I love the kids, I really do, but several months ago I mentioned how lately my job had been making me feel like I would be a terrible mother. And with all the stuff going on back home I didn`t need the added stress of that, and under-staffing issues that my job has being causing me lately. After speaking with the owner, and after having finalized my decision with Shumpei and my family I feel as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders..

I am ready for the next step of my life. Which will be me returning to Australia in May spending time with my family, helping Shumpei learn English when he arrives in July (and also teaching him more about my `Australian life`)and taking a year to do some temp work, see if I find a job or industry I like….Also,  planning a wedding and saving money to move back to Tokyo as a married couple….

I am hoping that somewhere in all this I will be able to cross a few things off my life list…..Something I plan to focus on a lot more over the next year.

Sometimes future is a scary word….mainly because people rarely have any idea what is going to happen….I have a little bit of and idea what the next six months will entail at least, and for after that we will have to see!!! While future is a scary work, it is also a word that brings to mind new experiences, closure and excitement…all things I am ready for!

Here is to my future(our future!)…and to yours!

ps: I love ps`s…sorry this is not a very long post for the enc of me, but I am lacking blogging inspiration today!

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...) Today`s post is a little delayed…I have published D is for.. and E is for… before C is for Cancer…

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I think almost  everyone has had someone close to them affected by cancer…This disease sometimes seems as if it is taking over the world. In my life, several family members, friends, parents of friends have had cancer…It is a horrible disease.

When I was fifteen my father was diagnosed with  lymphoma, stage four. It was one of the biggest shocks of my life. We grow up thinking our parents are invincible and when something threatens that our lives feel like they are falling apart.

I remember that I didn`t know how to tell my friends at school that it was happening. I had told one or two of my friends but didn`t know how to tell them all….It is such a hard thing to stand up and announce without breaking down, or crying…especially when you are fifteen and an emotional mess. I wrote them a letter…and when I gave it to them I apoligised for not been able to say what was inside.

It took a year for  him to have chemo, a stem-cell transplant and go into remission. Since 2001 he has been in remission until now. Then a month ago they found cancer cells, in a routine check-up. My father has had other health problems over the last couple of years and we were waiting for test results on another check when these results came in. It was the last thing we expected…after a stem-cell transplant, for the same cancer to come back is a rarity….one we thought we had bypassed…

I am so far away from my family…I can`t zip home for the weekend or for dinner once a week…I can`t be there to help my dad. or my family. This is not the only thing I haven`t been around for, in the last couple of years a lot of stuff has happened, stuff that I can`t go into on a blog that is as open as this one, stuff that I can`t control. But that still makes me upset that I am not there for my mum or my dad or little brother….

Shumpei and I had decided to go back to Australia in July, part of this was so that he could learn English and get to know my family and part of it was because I wanted to, needed to, be around my family…and then this happened. So I know we have made the right choice. I have decided I will be returning to Australia a little earlier than planned…in mid-May…I will be finishing up work in April….As I mentioned on here a week or so ago, I have a stomach ulcer which they say is caused by stress….I have had a lot of stress recently with all this going  on back in Australia and also with work….So I am going home a little earlier, even though it means Shun and I will be apart for about 6 weeks to two months. We have done long-distance before and we both think it would be a good idea for me to spend time with my family alone before he follows me over.

Nothing has been decided with my fathers Cancer at this stage…It is stage one and the lumps are not even big enough to be felt…We are waiting for other test results, and at this stage it is definitely not as serious or as advanced as it was seven years ago…A decision will be made about treatment in the next month or so. You may wonder why no treatment has been decided as of yet but there are other test results and tests that needed to be conducted before anything can be decided….

Cancer is a horrible disease and it is affecting so many people…people we love and care about, people we admire….I can not believe it is affecting my family yet again….

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Stumbled on this over at Enny`s blog which led me to here…The writing in Red is from Sarah at`He Loves Me Not`

Peach has taken this thought a step further. She’s recruited me, Ariel from From Fuck Up To Fab, Ms R from Woman of Experience and Vi from Village Secrets to put together a book for charity, written by bloggers. Here’s where you come in: we would like you to submit (to bloggersforcharity@yahoo.co.uk) a written piece about something you’ve been through from any aspect of your life that you want to share. It can literally be about anything: your relationships, your past, a road not taken, being a parent, an illness, or your regrets, etc. We’ve called it You’re Not The Only One to reflect the camaraderie of blogging.

Proceeds will go to War Child, and blatantly following in the same fashion as Shaggy Blog Stories, we will be publishing it through lulu.com. This is a no upfront fee Internet publishing site that will take $9.15 per book sold if we make it no longer than 200 pages. We’re pricing the book at $17.50 so $8.37 will go to straight to the charity. Because the cost lulu.com takes increases according to how many pages we want published, we do have to stick to the 200 page limit so we can’t guarantee you’ll get your submission in for sure. The absolute maximum length for submission is 1500 words (but we’d rather not have too many at that length. In fact you may stand more chance if your piece is on the less wordy side).

We’re really excited about this and think, if we get the quality we know is out there, we stand a good chance of getting some great PR.

A small note, we’d prefer it if you submit stories you’ve not published outside the blogworld. A piece from your own site is great, but not from a previously published hard copy book—lulu or otherwise. That makes this exclusive.

To summarize:

• You must be a blogger with a live blog
• It must be about something you’ve been through, amusing or serious or any style you like.
  
• You can submit in your blogname and remain anonymous, or not, up to you.
• It can’t be something previously published outside the blogworld, but anything from your blog, or something entirely new, is fine.
  
• Try to keep below 1500 words.
• You must pimp the book on your site and buy it if you make a submission to be in it!
  
• Please LINK BACK TO THIS POST to spread the word!
• DEADLINE IS FEBRUARY 29th, 2008 for submissions.
• Send your submissions to me at bloggersforcharity@yahoo.co.uk

If it’s hugely submitted to, we’ll do another one later in the year… so get writing!

P.S. Does anyone fancy designing the cover for us? Get in touch (bloggersforcharity@yahoo.co.uk)!

So yeah, I have decided to submit something also..You should do the same!!! Even if my piece isn`t selected I will definitely be buying the book once it comes out…Congratulations to these bloggers for taking their love of blogging to another level…lets all help them out and support this wonderful charity!

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)C is for… will not be posted for a couple of weeks although it has already been written…

This is technically my fifth post…(Although I just realized this is also my 250th post on Cherry Blossom Adventures)

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Have you ever had a year where you could consider it the best one of your life? March 2004-Feb 2005 was like that for me. I have no way of knowing if it will be the best year of my life for the rest of my life but for now it is definitely number one.

I came to Japan for the first time ever in March 2004…I had studied Japanese in my first year of university….but my Japanese was considered basic at the most….I had applied to go on exchange and was accepted based on my grades…I turned 19 just before I arrived in Japan. The first few months my Japanese didn`t improve at all and I struggled but once I got into the swing of things I never wanted to leave… (For those of you who every wondered…I only studied Japanese 8 months before coming here and could barely say my name and where I was from when I first arrived here…so when I say basic I mean BASIC)

It was my first time living away from my family and I consider it to be the year I grew up a lot also… I have so many wonderful memories of that year…It truly was the best year ever. We all wish (meaning those of us that were on exchange together) that we could go back to living in the Seikei University Kaikan (International dorm)…there was always something happening, always people around and so many life long memories formed!

I had so many great experiences and formed many great, lasting friendships…(and relationships…Shun!).

Seeing my first cherry blossoms, trips to Osaka, Kyoto, Hiroshima and beyond, izakaya experiences, summer fireworks and yukata, my first view of snow, my first attempts at snowboarding, reggae bands and clubs, Fuji Kyu Highland and Disneyland, meeting Shumpei at a house party and then having to say goodbye a month later…

I made a slideshow of photos, which describes my year a lot better than I can put into words!(You will need Macromedia Flash Player to view it…oh and the photos do have some weird names like tobesorted 472…because I am lazy and have never gone through and named them all)

I had to go through over 5000 photos last night to choose some to put in the slide…I hadn`t seen some of those photos in over a year and it was a good chance to look through them and reminisce about that year. Anyone that gets a chance to go overseas, and experience another culture and step out of their usual surroundings should jump at the chance…If you could go for more than a holiday, even better! If it is something you have thought about doing and put on the back burner for now well pull the idea out and play with it a little bit….what have you got to lose?

Going on exchange changed my life…If you had asked me 5 years ago when I had finished highschool if I had thought this is where I would be today I would have answered with a `No way`…It is funny what can happen in a short amount of time…I never thought I would be living in Japan at 22, or planning to get married to a Japanese boy and live in Japan…I never even thought that I would be a kindergarten teacher. Coming to Japan on exchange in 2004, changed the path of my life that I thought I would follow.

Do I have any regrets? No, now, I couldn`t imagine my life any other way!

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After dropping my friend off in Shinjuku so he could catch the Narita Express to the airport I went over to Kinokuniya to pick up some Japanese text books (decided to start studying again) and stumbled upon `The Tokyo Look Book` by Philomena Keet with photography by Yuri Manabe….It wasn`t the first time I had seen the book…I had even seen it reccomended on a couple of blogs and had flicked through it a couple of times either in Kinokuniya or Tower Records in Shibuya….There are several English language books that delve into the Tokyo/Japan fashion scene but this is by far the best I have seen so far in my travels. So I bought it because my stomach was starting to hurt again and I wanted to get home to my warm (Ok well warmer than outside at least) apartment and sit down.

I like reading about fashion, while I am not a very fashion concisious person, nor do I know much about Japanese fashion labels or the styles of fashion seen in Tokyo, this book was easy to understand and a very fun read. Consisting of over 200 photos by Yuri Manabe and writings by Philomena Keet a British national who has a PhD in Anthropology the book takes you on a journey through the Tokyo fashion scene from the well known Shibuya Girls, the Cos play kids of Harajuku and the decked out Louis Vouiton and Chanel females of Omotesando and Ginza fame. Not to mention the last chapter titled `Young Men at Work`….I am always up for a look at the hot Japanese guys in suits and Nikka (work men pants). I live in the city and some of the things Ms Keet spoke about I would never have known if I hadn`t read her book….while I had heard of Sibuya girls, and the Lolita Cos players I had no idea that they were so influenced by their favourite music bands (most of which are visual-kei) or that certain brands were held at such high esteem.

I bought this book Sunday and had it finished by Monday morning (Monday was a public holiday) and I would of devoured it in one sitting If I hadn`t been so sleepy on Sunday night! Anyone into fashion, or who likes looking at pop culture or Japanese culture should check out this book….In fact anybody who is anybody should check out this book because I think you would be hard to find someone that walk away from reading it without feeling at least something!

The book also consisted of some profiles of popular fashion designers or shop owners here in Tokyo!

This book made me want to go out and take photos of all the crazy and cute fashion I see on the streets of Tokyo…although I am not sure if anybody would pose for me if I asked!

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In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)

C is for… will not be posted for a couple of weeks although it has already been written…Technically this is the forth post in the Encyclopedia of me…

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I have suffered from depression since my early teens although I wasn`t diagnosed until I was 16 and that is also when I started on medication. It runs in my family and it is one of my greatest fears that I will pass whatever it is that causes it on to my children….because there is nothing worse than the feeling of knowing that to feel happy (notice I didn`t say be happy) you need to take a couple of little pills everyday to accomplish it.

When I take my medication I am fine. Sure I may have sad times but they are normal…..it is not like I cry every 10 minutes, can`t get out of bed, can`t make decisions and can`t function. However, that is what happens when I don`t take my medication. As much as I would love to go off the medication, I have tried to go off it and I don`t mean to be morbid but I imagined running my car off the road into a tree just so that I could stop my mind from spinning around and around in circles….It was not so much that I wanted to die as much that I just wanted my mind to stop. Not to mention the dreams….It is funny I don`t really remember what I dreamed about when I was younger and before I was on medication, but now if I don`t take the medication I have the strangest and most horrible dreams and nightmares. Which impacts on my sleep which leaves me lying awake thinking too much…Everyone has nights where they can`t shut their minds off…..I still have them….but imagine if you could never do it…..That is what it is like (for me anyway)…and decision making? Well my decision making skills go out the window…it is hard for me to even decide simple things like what I want to eat or do…

When I was diagnosed it was hoped that because I was still young that perhaps it was something I would grow out of. I now know that it is something I will more than likely always suffer from. While I still have days where I think`This sucks, if I don`t take those pills I am sure I will be fine` I do….but the feeling of dread that overwhelms me when I am off medication is enough to make me never want to stop taking them again.

This post is not only about my dealings with depression but it also has a lot to do with people` s reactions and comments to those who suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder….As much as people want to help those that suffer from depression…to help them `snap out of it` it isn`t as easy as that. It is not something that you can just snap out of…mild depression that lasts a week then goes away, then maybe, trying to help someone snap out of it will work, but if they are depressed all the time…..happy one minute then crying the next then nothing you say is going to make them feel better….especially if you say things like `What do you have to be depressed about?`…..it is not something that you can just control by yourself. The amount of times I have been told that I `seem so happy`, and `why would you need drugs?` is amazing…I don`t get asked why I take ventolin when I have an asthma attack so it kind of gets on my nerves when I hear the same thing all the time.

I don`t go around broadcasting that fact that I have depression to everyone….I am more open about it in Australia than I am here in Japan although my closest (foreign) friends know and of course Shun does too. Shun really doesn`t understand a lot about it, and has a very Japanese mentality about it….considering that at the moment there are only 3 SSRI`s (anti depressants/anti anxiety drugs) on the market here give you a bit of an idea about how the Japanese government and health system view depression. It is not that I am trying to hide it, more that I just get sick of people asking me `why?`…as in why am i depressed….the truth is I am not…well I am not if I take my medication. Shun calls them my `ureshii kusuri` happy medicine….and the way I see it…I suffer from asthma and migraines and I take medication for them. The medication for my depression is exactly the same…..I take them to help fix the chemical imbalance in my brain….Sure, I wish I didn`t have that chemical imbalance but hey that`s life.

I also want to say I have looked into herbal options before…St John`s Wort etc….I spoke to my doctor in Australia about it and she said to combat the kind of depression I have I would need to take a bottle of them a day….and even then It probably wouldn`t help. It was a little disheartening. I was also very concerned about what I would do once I wanted to start a family…..I have been on the same medication since I was 16, I have been very lucky that I found something that suited me right off the bat. The dose has gone up and down over the years but I have never had any severe side affects and it has worked well for me. When I was in Australia recently I spoke my doctor about my medication and pregnancy and was informed that I could try and go off it and see how I go (Since pregnancy changes your hormones and chemicals I might be able to handle been off medication for the period of pregnancy) although she didn`t recommend it. Instead we decided that when I am in Australia later this year for a longer period that I will change to another medication that is seen as safer to take while pregnant (Even though babies are far off in the horizon at the moment) and get used to it while I am in Australia where I can be monitored by my doctor as to whether it works for me or not.

If you think you may suffer from depression or an anxiety disorder you should speak to your doctor….they may not even advise medication, they may advise counselling (This is why I journal….my own form of counselling) or therapy. If you think you know someone that suffers from depression then all you can do is be there for them….keep your opinions about `trying to snap out of it` to yourself and give them a hug. Listen to them, and don`t judge.

Some people might not agree with me on my opinions about helping those with depression. Others may think my ideas about medication are silly…but these are my thoughts and I am not trying to pass myself off as someone that knows what can help those with depression…I don`t….I know what helps me and if you know someone that has depression , or suffer from it yourself, then maybe, just maybe, my thoughts on it may help you with your own battle or with helping someone close to you.

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