G is for Growing up…
In an effort to improve on my writing I have decided to sign up for Encyclopedia of me which started over at Bella Dia (and which I found out about by reading Laura`s blog here...)
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G is for Growing up
When I was younger the thought of being in my 20`s was just so far away, not to mention it seemed so old and then on Monday I turned 23…I am heading towards that mid 20`s point yet half the time I still feel just like a child playing dress-ups and pretend games and it as if I am just `acting` like an adult…
It almost doesn`t seem right…but here I am….all grown up. I think Shun is more of a child than me…but he assures me I am the more childish of the pair (While I think he is delusional) He assures me that he will always be the one that is more mature, simply because he is four years older than I am.
Last year in July, my best friend from primary school, Mandy, came to visit me here in Tokyo…she is the kind of friend that when we see each other we talk and talk and talk catching up and then by the end of the conversation we are all caught up and it is nothing has changed. We can simply pick up from where we left off…I think this is a sign of true friendship. A friendship that has evolved through time…
See we met in preschool when we were four, and by eight years old we were inseparable. Sure we had our ups and down (we are both stubborn and opinionated) but this friendship has evolved over 19 years now…She is my oldest friend and I can still remember taking baths together, playing crazy board games, talking about our far off future weddings and secret crushes…. It just doesn`t seem possible that 19 years has now passed since we met (Or even that 6 years has passed since my 18th in which she threw up in the garden while my mum held back her hair and called her him to come and get her…)Even in the last 6 years we have grown up so much…finished uni, travelled, lived overseas, gone through boyfriends and we now both live away from home with our partners in our own apartments….It somehow just seems to grown up for us….
In five years I will be 28….married, and more than likely I will have a child. And here I am wondering, is that what makes you an aduld? Is that what kicks the `child` in you out? Do I even want the child in my kicked out? Can you really truly live your life and never feel completely `adult`? I am still waiting for that `OMG, I am an adult` moment to hit me!
Anyway since this is all about growing up I thought I would share some photos of my recent 23rd Birthday. But it turns out I can`t because I did`t take my camera and the photos my friends uploaded onto facebook can not be transferred onto here (Although I did just spend the last 30 minutes trying)
But here is a rundown…We went to an Italian restaurant on the 58th floor of a building in Shinjuku, while I was still a bit under the weather I had a great time and I am so glad I didn`t cancel it!!! After dinner a group of us headed out to karaoke! Always good for a laugh and some fun! I got thoroughly spoilt!
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Hey Lulu! Awww this post was so exciting for me because, well, I got mentioned and I know exactly what you mean about growing up but not feeling so ‘grown up’!!!!! And I agree a true friendship is one where you can just pick up from where you left with ease, you can chat about anything and while we as people evolve, we still share that common link. I am just so excited for you! (I peeked on Facebook and saw your relationship status change! OMG! Did Shumpei officially propose?)
I hope your stomach ulcer is better and am really glad you had an excellent birthday. Look forward to hearing more news!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox
The new blog is nice. Just saw you are getting married, congrats!
Interesting post.
I think there is a great misconception that we must ‘grow up’.
The concept of being a child or adult is all about our perception of what these two socially formed states mean (for many people I think their perceptions are formed by govt, religious or social rhetoric). For me a child is fun loving, truthful, carefree, pure, raw, emotional, unconditionally loving, spontaneous, creative, building their own worlds imaginatively and physically. There is such a push to grow away from this pure essence. While responsibility and maturity are touted as adult qualities I think qualities like these are unattainable unless we fully accept that we must balance the child within us. Throwing it out the window, shutting it out leads to greater problems that work on a much more subconscious level. I have a theory that this is what a midlife/quarter life crisis is all about. We push and push to rid ourselves of the child and then wake up one morning thinking, “Hang on where the hell did my child go?”
I also believe strongly that anyone considering parenthood should be readying themselves by bringing back as many of their child qualities as possible, feeling the spirit within them. The child/adult syndrome often becomes one of the biggest wedges between parents and their babes of any age.
Having babies and getting married are rites of passage to be celebrated but are not always the key to feeling settled, content, surrounded by love (whatever it is that a adult like is supposed to grant us) The “feeling” is inside each one of us, looking within and feeling good about ourselves rather than comparing ourselves to what “our” society set as the norm (which when you think about it is kind of ridiculous!!)
Yes, we are adults by age, by years and by number but I think the world would be a much more peaceful place if we all held onto and celebrated the child within us!
Happiness to you now and always.
Well, I’m 35 and I still feel like I am play acting at being a grown up – and I have 2 kids! (Maybe I am kidding myself – I’m sure kids would call me “lady” in the supermarket). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with still feeling like a kid – I think it just means you’re willing to have fun and not worry too much about the serious stuff all the time. Not a bad way to be!
It is funny, as I have been thinking about the growing up thing alot recently. I turned 30 in January and have a son who is going to be 3 in April. I don’t feel anymore grown up than I did 10 years ago and that fact kind of scares me. I have so many responsibilities but often feel like I am playing at being a grown-up!
I commented to a friend the other day that we spent all of our teenage years dying to grow up and all of our 20s trying not to be adults! LOL!
I found your blog through Nay’s so thought I would leave a comment and say hi! It is always interesting reading about people who are newly engaged/married to Japanese guys as it takes me back to that stage in my life. (Which was only about 5 years ago but feels MUCH longer ago!!) Congratulations on your engagement!!
Midori- Thanks for commenting!!! I am a lurker of your blog too actually, but am yet to leave a comment! Will do so soon though!