Things I could of done today…
As you know the last couple of weeks have been a very emotional and busy time for us. Yesterday I was off work to take my father to the hospital to have some tests (a CT scan & a biopsy) and about a week ago I hinted that there was more trouble coming up for me and my family. Last Monday my fathers oncologist said that due to the rapid growth of the lumps he had under his arms and in his neck, his cancer was progressing and that the starting of treatment would be fairly imminent.
The results of the tests yesterday will not be back in for a couple of days but it looks as if the next step will be starting chemo again. He is fairly adamant that he does not want to do chemo again but we will wait and see. I talked about my fathers cancer, non- hodgkins lymphoma, previously here. Up until earlier this year my father had been in remission for 7 years.
The weekend was a very emotional time for us. Sunday & Monday where quite possibly the worst days I have ever spent with my father but I am happy to report that the last two days have been a lot better. Some of you know what has been going on and I am sure the rest of you can understand why I am not going to go into too many details.
Shun came with me yesterday to the hospital and even though the hospital is close to my work and I could have gone in for a couple of hours at least, I decided against it and where I currently working, and my managers there have been fine with me taking the day off. On Tuesday night I slept for 2.5 hours and while I got extra sleep last night I woke up this morning with a migraine and couldn`t go to work. It means that I have missed the last two days, and I will have a lot to catch up on tomorrow. I woke up at 6am to get ready for work but I just couldn`t face it so sent a message to my manager and went back to sleep. I woke up a couple of times but didn`t get out of bed until 2pm. I feel a lot better now but I still have a headache and am feeling quite exhausted…I guess it is my bodies way of telling me the last couple of weeks have caught up with me.
I could of gotten a lot of things done today with the day off but instead I slept & then finished a game of monopoly with my dad & Shun ( I won!) and while I will probably have a headache for about a week (that is the way my migraines go) I am feeling much better and I think I spent my day well! Dad & Shun are now in the kitchen cooking dinner- we are having an easy tea of sausages on breadrolls. It is Shun`s favourite!!!
Like I said, I could of spent the day doing so many other things, catching up on the cleaning, washing, writing applications for my current job (It is getting advertised so I will apply for it- and if I get it it would mean I would go on their books) general writing, catching up on blogs, studying, sewing or doing wedding stuff.
Instead I slept & played monolpoly and I can`t help but feel that it was a day well spent!!!
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I think it’s definitely worth letting your body catch up - as stressed as you have been, there’s probably a whole bunch you’ve been carrying around internalised, so best to let it slowly work it’s way out.
I love that Shun’s favourite dinner is so easy and Aussie- our friend in Japan who we stayed with was complaining about how impossible it was to get actual sausages over there!
Have you tried those migraine tablets you can get? I’d not heard of them, even after being to my doctor about mine, until one of my martial arts students told me about them. You take one as you feel it coming on, then a second an hour later if it hasn’t gone away. I haven’t had to try them yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I have to in the next week or so ;o)
I hope things keep getting better with your dad, in all ways.
*hugs*
I think we all have days where we think of things we could have done - but it sounds like some time out was just what you needed!! Thinking of you xx
HUGS
I’m so sorry to here about your Dads prognosis…
I’m glad to hear that the last 2 days were a little bit better. I can’t image what a stressful time this must be.
You and your family are in my thoughts dear!
Wow, look after yourself, hey?
It’s pretty crass but my dad used to say to me ‘You’re no good to anyone dead’ and I think about that sometimes when I am doing way too much and my body’s saying stop and I’m contemplating pushing on.
And I had to grin at Shun’s favourite food- nurture that one and you have easy dinnertime’s a plenty in your future!! My DH? shiokara, grilled sanma with grated daikon, potato and onion miso soup and rice. phew. Don’t think he’s tried sausages in bread yet, maybe…..
I think it’s a good thing to have a day off and give yourself a break. The last few weeks sound pretty stressful so you need to take it easy once in a while.
xx
Stress can really do a number on your body (and soul) and it sounds like you have an awful lot of it right now. I`m sorry to hear about your dad and I hope the treatment goes well. Don`t forget to take care of yourself as well as your dad.
HUGS!
I think you spending the day the way you did, is exactly what you should have done. It’s totally what you needed. You needed that day to recharge yourself. Because you must be physically and emotionally drained these days. Stress alone can really take it’s toll on a person. You have so much on your plate right now,no wonder you had a migraine. It could have been a stress headache. Besides taking good care of your dad, please also take good care of yourself as well.
As for your dad. I am hoping like crazy that, he can beat this cancer. I also understand him being hesitant about not wanting to get another round of chemo though too. I’m pretty sure I mentioned to you before that my mom had breast cancer before. And that chemo left her so unbelievably nauseous. Actually nauseous doesn’t even describe how bad it was for her. And sure she took those anti nausea meds, but they didn’t work so much at all. So yeah, I do understand him not wanting to do that again. But just get him to do it if you can Lulu. He needs the chemo. The chemo will hopefully make him all better.
I also wanted to say I am so glad that Shun is there with you during this time. This way you don’t have to go through this alone. It’s times like these that we need someone to lean on. It’s also times like these, when we can see what kind of men we are married to or in your case engaged to. Does that makes sense? : ) Seems like Shun is one heck of a good man and will be there for you in the bad times as well as good times. I’m just so sorry you and your family is having such a hard time lately. : ( And I just hope your dad will be okay.
I could have done soo many more things yesterday too.. but now that I realise that, I’m going to do so much more today! You need days like that to motivate you more. Best wishes for your father.. x
Enny- I have migraine medication- but it is the kind that doesn`t do much for the headache it is more to stop me being really nauseous. I usually take them (immigram?) and go to sleep and then have some headache tablets when I wake up.
Shumpei loves sausages on bread & buritos. They are his favourite- It is really hard to get sausages in Japan though.
THanks Enny.
Phil- Thanks girl!
Sara- Thanks! It has been really stressful but compared to Sunday & Monday the rest of the week has been much better. No test results yet…maybe tomorrow.
Heather- You should try and get him hooked on sausages then!!! Shumpei`s favourite in Japan is hayashi rice (which I don`t like) but in Japan if I ask him what he wants for dinner he always says hayashi rice or buritos. I love love love sanma! I miss it (and i would like it without the daikon!)
Guera- I went to work today and all was fine- I am glad I had the day off yesterday I definitely needed it. Looking forward to the weekend too- some more time to relax I hope.
Tigermama- I am a lot less stressed than I was earlier in the week and while I still have a bit of a headache I feel a ton better than yesterday. I definitely needed the day to rest I think. I react badly to stress and lack of sleep and it usually triggers migraines or stomach pains (I had a stomach ulcer earlier this year also). I need to try and remember not to push myself too hard- luckily my work at the moment is very flexible.
Gina- Thank you so much. I read your message at work and I almost cried- Shun has been great in more ways than one- not only has be been a support to me but he has been spending a lot of time with my dad and I know he loves the company. Shumpei`s English is improving a lot also due to the time he is spending with dad because if a Japanese person can understand my Dad`s very Aussie English they are doing pretty well.
I think part of the reason my dad doesn`t want to do chemo is because he thinks he doesn`t have much reason to live but I am trying to convince him that he does. I hope he will choose to go for the treatment but if he decides against it all I can do is support him through that.
Yuki- Thanks Yuki! I have a lot of stuff I want to get done this weekend but If I don`t get through it all I won`t beat myself up about it. Hope things are good with you.
Gomene! I didn’t see this post yesterday when I sent you that message.
Sounds like you have been under so much stress lately. You should take as much time off work as you need. I don’t think anybody would hold it against you. Your well-being is more important. You really need to look after yourself to keep your strength up and fight this battle of wills with your Dad. Is there anyone else who can help convince your Dad to do the chemo? Is he at all religous anymore? Would he go to Church? These are just ideas, I don’t mean to sound like a dumbass, I’m just trying to think what might help change his thinking.
Gina’s message made me cry too! It’s true though! You are lucky to have such a kind & loving man like Shun by your side for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness & in health.
I can help with your job application if you like. If you want I’ll read over it & make improvements, I’m only too happy to help. I live & breathe HR afterall!
Thanks Katie! Actually my manager at work has looked over my EOI applications and has said they are great and just made a couple of changes. They have been real supportive.
When I have to do the real application for the more permanant role though I might take you up on your offer!
Thanks
Hi Lulu! I’M sorry to hear you and your family are going through all this. But it sounds like you definitely have your priorities straight- just make sure you keep yourself up there too. Thanks for all the wonderful comments on my blog when you have so much going on in your own life! I’m still using your old computer
Hope we can meet someday when you are back in Japan. For now, sending you a cyber hug.
Sometimes we just need time to rest and recover so we can go forward. I am sorry to hear about your and Dad and will keep you all in my prayers. He is very lucky that you can be there for him and I am so glad that Shun is with you right now as well. Big hugs from me xx
It surely must be difficult to concentrate on anything right now. Your dad is so lucky to have a daughter like you. I am sorry to hear of your father’s illness. Few things in the world are more difficult than seeing your father suffer.
I have been thinking a lot about you and the discomfort you are experiencing these days. I wish I could do more to help, but rest assured that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Keep those spirits high!
Just let me know what I can do.