Nengajyo…
Last year I got all inspired to make nengajyo, or new years postcards and I even bought all the stuff I would need to make them including some extremely cute mouse/rat stamps and stickers since it is quite common to put the chinese zodiac animal on the nengajyo. Shun & I had been together 3 years, living together for almost 2, and it seemed like we were at the age where sending nengajyo from both of us to family and friends would be appropriate…Plus we had received several the year before & I had felt bad that we hadn`t sent any.
I was sitting on the floor, heater going, making the cards when Shun came home from work.
S- “Tadaima (Im home)”
me- “Okaeri (welcome back)”
S in Japanese ” What are you doing?”
me- “making nengajyo…I am using stamps cos we do not have any kids so cute family photos are out”
S- “We can not send nengajyo this year”
me- ” What? Why? I bought all the stuff and I have already started and I made a list of who we could send them too and everything”
S- “Grandma died, so we can`t send”
me- “??????”
I had no idea (up until then obviously) that when there had been a death in the family the previous year that you could not send new years cards. When I asked Shun why he said it was to show respect for those who died. I did not attend his Grandma`s funeral for a couple of reasons, one I had never met her since she had dementure & my poppy had that so I knew that meeting new people, and even trying to remember the old people you knew was difficult. She barely remembered Shun, throwing me in the mix, especially since I am not Japanese, would of confused her even more so I never got to meet her and secondly the funeral was not in Tokyo so Shun travelled with his family to Tochigi for it. There are a lot of rituals surrounding death in Japan, many of which I do not understand (or probably know about) but I respect them all the same. So, I knew that nengajyo were out…
A couple days later I asked Shun if we could send Christmas cards instead….he said it was fine as long as I only put my name on the ones I gave to his parents, brother/sister in law & other grandma (baabaa). I put both our names on the rest…If you click the link below you can see the cards I made.
I didn`t send a lot of cards last year, but I did send a few. This year, despite the fact that I did buy a pack of Christmas cards with the intention of writing and sending them, I have not even opened the packet. It is now 5 days before Christmas and apart from the ones I will write for family to go with their presents, I know I will not write anymore. I should of but I didn`t. Also, since we are in Australia this year I do not feel like making nengajyo…and there is nowhere that you could buy them here I don`t think.
Next year, I am hoping to make nengajyo since last year I missed my chance. Obviously the mouse stamp will not get put to good use for another 11 years or so when the next year of the rat/mouse comes around so I might have to go an invest in some cute tiger stamps!!! Since 2010 will be the year of the tiger!! When I told Shun I wanted to make some for next year and would need to buy some tiger stamps he said we would probably put a wedding picture on them instead….somehow I think people would rather see a cute tiger stamp than a picture of us getting married!!!! But we will see…
I was born in the year of the cow/ox (and aparently my secret animal is the dragaon because of the time of the day I was born), which isthis upcoming year (2009), so I feel a bit special! Which year are you?
In my family Shun is a rooster, my parents are snakes and my brother is a rabbit.
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At least you didn’t do what I did……
When Seiju’s grandmother died, he told me we had to send out those Mochu cards (the greyish ones sent in November/December telling people you had a death in the family) so he printed them all and then asked me to buy stamps and send them. I asked for Nengajo stamps because I didn’t know there was a difference, and I stuck them all on.
So about 200 people got mourning cards with nice happy new year celebration stamps stuck on them. Even the stamps are different!
Ah well, at least everyone getting them would know the idiot gaijin went to mail them!
I’m a Monkey!!
It’s rather fitting isn’t it…….
I just learned about this tradition as well. My husband’s grandmother died this spring so no cards for New Year’s and no osechi ryori either. I can’t believe it. This will be the first time we’re living in Japan and it’s a major holiday to celebrate in a big way and I was looking forward to it (since I’m not really getting American Thanksgiving or Christmas while I’m here) only now I find out no visits to the temples/shrines on New Year’s Day. No big breakfast. *sigh* It’s been a pretty rough holiday season for me here this year. I’m WAY looking forward to next year.
I’m a tiger by the way and SO looking forward to my year coming around!
Happy holidays! Whichever ones you celebrate, may they be full of joy!
In the Chinese tradtion, your animal year is supposed to be a year where big things can happen. Lots of Chinese people will wear a red thread around their neck or wrist to protect them during what is seen to be a dangerous time, since the “big events” can be either good or bad and it is best not to take chances with these things. My husband was born in the cow year too, so we’ll see what’s in store for him. Obviously it will be true for you since you’ll be getting married in your year!
I’m a monkey and my last year was 2004, which, if I think about it, was kind of a dangerous year (or at least I lived quite dangerously!).
Vicky- Oh my god! hehe! That is so something I would do though. I guess that Shun`s parents must have sent out the grey cards because I know we didn`t. Good to know for the future though about the different stamps…
Jessica- hehe! I am okay with been a cow but to be a monkey or a dragon would be cool!!!
Coffeegrl- I did not know about the osechi ryori! I wasn`t in Japan last new year`s- I was in Australia but Shun stayed in Japan. I love osechi ryori- and I am missing out this year as well because we are not there
Damn! All of these traditions I have to file away in the back of my head and try and remember them all! Salt at the doors etc etc.
I hope you can enjoy your Christmas & new year period though!!! With Christmas, it is hard to be in Japan sometimes but I think the best thing you can do is make your own traditions.
Jessica (In China!)- Thanks for the information! I know that in China they pay a lot more attention to this than the Japanese do. It is interesting to see the cross overs though.
Will your hubby where a red thread? I did not know about this- I don`t think they do this in Japan but I will ask Shun. What about your bub? What year was he born in?
i am also an ox. yay cows! lol
yoshi is a dragon (so is my brother) and that’s cool for him. hiro is a monkey, and he is a little monkey! i can’t remember sasha, isn’t that terrible?! tommy is a pig. hee hee.
off to look up sasha’s…
Lulu — my baby is a pig, he was born last year. It was actually a “special” pig year that comes only once every hundred or so years, so there was a huge boom of babies in China that year as a lot of families wanted to catch that lucky birth sign.
I kind of doubt my hubs will wear a red thread, he isn’t really superstitious about these things, but I’ll have to ask him. I actually think anything red will do (like underwear!) but a thread is more convenient than figuring out which article of red clothing you can wear for an entire year, lol.
apparently it’s polite not to send new year’s cards to anyone who has had a death in the family, either, which makes it doubly hard because you have to remember if there have been any deaths not only on your side of the family, but in all the families of people you might possibly send nengajyo to!
luckily, they help a bit to take the guess work out: i got two postcards this december that basically were to remind me (or, inform if i hadn’t already known) that there had been a death in the family in the previous year so that person wouldn’t be sending new year’s cards. because they can’t send them out, it’s polite not to send a “happy new year!” card to them since they aren’t “celebrating” this year. i asked around about what you are supposed to do instead and a card sent to those people before the new year saying something like “kotoshi arigatou gozaimasu/osewa ni narimashita/rainen mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu” is acceptable.
it’s all so complicated hey?!
You can find cards, or make them, that have both your wedding picture and a tiger on them. Whenever you have a something big like that – wedding, birth of a baby , etc- it is really popular to put the picture on the New Year’s card. I don’t know about anyone else, but I love getting the cards with pictures on them.
2009 is going to be the year of the cow/ox. I just made some cards with pictures of my kids riding on a bus looking out the windows and a cow is driving the bus with a banner flapping off it it saying “Happy New Year.” You can find a way to put the tiger you want and the wedding picture he wants together.
I was also surprised when I found out about not sending nengajo for the year after a death. I can understand not sending, but in a way, found it a little sad not being able to recieve any.
Reading this reminded me, while I’ve been stressing about getting them done in time this year, really, my husband and I shouldn’t send them, as his brother died earlier in the year. Even though we’re both gaijin, it still might seem disrepectful to those people that know about the death.
On a happier year, I’m an ox too! Looks like a red thread might be in order for me.