Strange conversations with MIL & GIL…
I was going to write about my weekend in Niigata with Sarah & Nay and there partners but will leave that until I upload some photos I think (although had a fab time!) instead I am going to try and relay a strange conversation that I had with my grandma-in-law (is that what they are called?) and mother-in-law this morning when I was trying to leave the house to head into town.
I really had no idea what was going on but I could of sworn they were talking about inu-no-hi (which I took to mean dog day?), a special pregnancy corset, what day would be best for me and my pregnancy, mentioning a day in July, and one of my female cousins in law. The conversation was totally lost on me and mainly fueled by Shun`s grandma and my MIL could tell I was getting confused I think and told me to go (otherwise I would never escape talking to “baba”.) I should mention that before the conversation got this involved the grandma was asking me if I had any issues going to shirne or temple even though I am Christian and I said no and figured that Shun & I would be raising the kids billingually and biculturally without this been an issue.
A quick google when I came home reveals that once women who are pregnant reach their 5th month of pregnancy (Which will be in about a month for me) they go to the shrine on this “inu no hi” which might stand for dog fertility day? Apparently you are supposed to go to the shrine on the first inu no hi after you reach your 5th month of pregnancy and it may or may not involve buying pregnancy girdle/corset -I also got the feeling from my reading that this is supposed to help the birth be easier (the visit to the shrine and the girdle) but I somehow doubt considering my starting size that I will be fitting into any kind of Japanese sized girdle, five months pregnant or not. Now my Japanese is not so great, especially when it comes to talking or reading about something I know NOTHING about so please correct me if I am wrong but is this what inu no hi is? And, do you think I am right in thinking that my MIL and GIL want to take me to do this in July? What do you know about inu-no-hi and this tradition? If you had your babies here in Japan, did you do this? I read about it in Japanese online and I only understood about 50% of what I was trying to read so I could be way off on my understanding of this tradition.
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You know I think I’ve heard of that… I remember at least one blogger wrote about it a while back… trying to remember who it was exactly…
Obviously I didn’t do that as was not in MIL/GIL clutches at that point (lol)
But hey anything to make the birth go easier spiritual or not – I wouldn’t turn it down.
I have heard about the girdle/haramaki thingy. I’ve personally never worn one but my SIL is doing it and I think that Corinne wore one as well during her pregnancy so maybe she will comment on that? Sorry not to be of more help! Looking forward to your Niigata post although go easy on the pictures with me in them – it helps me to be in denial better if I can’t see exactly HOW huge I’ve gotten
hey there, yep, inu no hi is the 5 month preggers thing here..wrap it round like a girdle and give an offering to the temple or shrine or whatever for a healthy boy or girl etc..its just a traditional thing (dont worry, they all fit, its just one long piece of cotton that gets wrapped round and round your belly)..lots of friends say to wear when you are preg to keep your belly supported (like I suppose the new fangled types now you see online)..don`t know if theres any truth to it..I didnt wear the dog one, but the new fangled one, just helped maternity clothes stay on better (the elasticised waists tended to stretch out too far and said clothes tended to slip down over belly a lot
Again with my quick commenting… I swear to god I’m not sitting at the computer all day!!! hehe.
My MIL mentioned going to the shrine, but me being a lazy gaijin, (and having an aversion to wearing kimono) and MIL not that bothered either we never got there. Not sure of the logistics but I think you just go on the certain lucky day and pray to whatever god is listening that goma-chan comes out happy, healthy and without causing you too much pain!
I didn’t have a hope in hell of fitting into any corset type thing but i did wear a haramaki, at first I was against it and brushed it off as a zaney Jaspanese ‘no meaning’ thing, but it was winter when I was preggers and I found it really warm and comfy. Not sure if it offered any support, but it can’t hurt I guess. Not sure I’d be going for it in the sweaty summer months, but give it a go and see.
hehe I was so proud of my haramaki, I think I lifted up my shirt and almost flashed sara when I showed her it!
i didn’t do it, just because we were off on our own in shimane, far from the PIL. from what i’ve read on MIJ it’s just a blessing. it’s more of a sash than a girdle, and you’re certainly not required to wear it all the time (unless you want to, of course
)
just another one of those culturally different things that could be fun (unless you’re devout to another religion maybe…)
I did it and as others have said, it is just a blessing. I figured that any blessings for the baby, no matter what religion they were were always a good thing. (Although I had horrible flu the day we did mine, which was really crappy!) There is a ceremonial sash they give you but I don’t think anyone uses those kinds of haraobi anymore. They have elastic ones that are good for support. My MIL insisting on buying a couple for me but I never wore them as I found them restrictive. I would only wear them when I saw her! I can see the reasoning behind the extra support but for them it is more a “stop the baby getting cold” thing, which I found bizarre. You should enjoy the ceremony part though, all part of the fun of international marriage!
I had vaguely read about it too in a magazine but I couldn’t find anything in English about it until I read your post just now. But my other pregnant friends, hubby, nor MIL mentioned it so… I never went, but why not?
I do wear a ??? support thing everyday though. MIL said it helps your stomach sag less, but I definately notice less weight pulling me and my back down.. I reccommend them after 6/7months =) Recently if I walk too much my stomach feels like it’s filled with bricks and starts to hurt if I DON’T wear one! lol
I was so worried about the “girdle” thing too. But we found the old “one long piece of fabric you just wrap around and around sort of ‘obi’ style” and it worked great. I actually used it occasionally after the blessing – on a cold day in the fall and winter or whenever I wanted just a bit of extra support (as much as cotton can give). I found the blessing to be quite touching. Perhaps the extra pregnancy hormones played into it, but I got a bit weepy at the idea of so many people wanting us to have a good healthy baby and easy delivery etc. If a ceremony like that doesn’t make you uncomfortable I recommend giving it a go.
Hey! I just noticed (I am crap at noticing things) that you are back in Tokyo and I was wondering if you would like to get together for a coffee or lunch or something? I am free most days and if you want to take me up on this, email me…
sassiecassie7@gmail.com
I can’t comment much about the conversation with GIL, she is not here with us but my husband sat out on many of the “shrine” or “Japanese” traditions because of his religion “being a Buddhist” he only went to the temple… but his sister did not do it because of them being “Buddhist” as well so I was really never introduced to Shintoism either…. Is your GIL believe in Shintoism?
Thank you to everyone who has commented with advice and their experiences.
I spoke more with my MIL about it and she said that she thinks I should also get a support girdle thing to use from that time- I told her I would try it out and see how it goes but I am not sure it would be for me. That said, I have back issues and if it takes some strain off my back then I might stick with it. I have had to use something similar before when I had back pain.
I will go and receive the cotton obi thing also- it looks like that will be in late July and I think my cousin-in-law will also come (hence the mention of her in the jumble of Japanese I heard this morning) since Shun might not neccessarily be able to come if he has work
Corrinne- I will be pregnant in winter also, so I might like it? I will definitely try it out for a bit.
Cassie- I have mailed you!
Oh and GJ- Shun`s family seem to follow both Buddhist and Shinto traditions. They seem to use a mix of both- and from what I have discussed with Japanese friends this seems to be the norm here. I have two friends though that are strict buddhist and will not go to shrine or even shrine at new years which I thought almost all Japanese people do. Shun tells people he is buddhist though but from what I can see his family seems to follow more shinto traditions. GIL is definitely both also.
Ah… can you imagine how dull it was for him growing up, my husband, now I am the minority of my foreign wife friends too = ( It is the majority in Japan, practicing both but I have no clue about the Shinto traditions… = (
I did the whole Dog Day thing. We actually went to a shrine in Sendai with Toru’s Mom about a month before the day and she paid a fair chunk of money for the harimaki and official blessing. Once back in Tokyo when the day finally came Toru wrapped me up in the haramaki (after several unsuccessful attempts) and off we went to Suitengu Shrine. There were so many people there that we had to line up for about 15mins…..not very enjoyable. We eventually got to toss our coins, ask for a safe delivery and that was basically it.
I didn’t really like the long piece of cloth that I wore for the official day but I did wear a more commercial elasticized haramaki for the last 4mths of my pregnancy and really found it helpful! Who would of guessed!
Girl Japan- I only know a little bit about each religion and it is interesting to me since I grew up Catholic. Shun doesn`t really know much though so I tend to learn more of his parents. Maybe ask your hubs family to explain some of the buddhist traditions to you- I seem to know more shinto ones. I find them all quite facinating.
Michelle- Thanks for commenting. I don`t think you have commented before right? Thanks for sharing your experience. I am going to have to try these haramaki I think- good to know about the more commercial elasticized ones. I am definitely going to look into those.
Hey Lulu, just got home from work so couldn`t comment earlier. Yes we did the inu no hi. Even wrote a blog about what went on http://atw3.wordpress.com/2009/05/17/%E6%88%90%E3%81%AE%E6%97%A5/
I would say go ahead and do it. Its the first time my husband had done anything like that so it was an interesting “cultural” thing to add to my list of things to do.
My MIL sent me the pregnancy girdle but at that time my stomach couldn`t fit in it at all so we just handed it over at the shrine and they placed it on the shrine for a blessing. I still haven`t worn it as it just makes things bulky underneath my clothing, but I did order some stocking type pregnancy supports from the US (having more to due with having to wear stockings at work but not really liking the pregnancy ones here)
Hi, I found quite a bit about Japanese pregnancy customs, including the Day of the Dog, so I put them on my blog. All from the one book.
I never did this, dh just kind of ruled it out when MIL suggested it, though once I learned about it, and the presentation at the shrine, I thought it sounded like a great idea. Nice way to feel cared for and fussed over, for a day at least!
The clinic told me when my Dog Day was due, but stressed that I was under no obligation to do it, or to wear a hara-obi. Many prefer modern belts or girdles, most I think take it or leave it, but I have encountered a few who seemed to think that the baby was going to fall out with the hara-obi. Hope you MIL and GMIL don’t fall into that group!
I live near Suitengu (mentioned above), which I think is the most famous shrine in Tokyo for this dog day thing. A lot of pregnant women pay a visit in the 5th month to pray and often take their babies back there too, as the shrine’s “specialty” is protecting unborn babies and newborns. If you check the website there is a bunch of information, I think you can sign up for various “prayers” and blessings too (http://www.suitengu.or.jp/inu_frame.html). If you decide to visit, there is a ton of great food in the area too!
Good morning.
We didn’t do the inu no hi. : ( Branden was born in Hawaii, so we didn’t get the chance to do that, I mean I think we coulda tracked someone down there to do it but we didn’t. And Noah was born in Funabashi, but with my parents in law all the way in Osaka. We pretty much were left to our own devices. So again no inu no hi. I wouldn’t have minded though doing this at all though. 
Both our boys are baptized Roman Catholics though.:) But we are raising them with appreciation of both cultures for sure.
Oh and about the pregnancy band. My MIL bought me a few of the commercial/store bought ones and I wore those for both pregnancies. I would have loved to have tried the obi or wrap style for sure.
LOL- Never heard of, therefore never participated in the ritual. You should do it just for kicks and hey, any help to make the pregnancy easier. Sounds like a great thing to tell baby in the future as it may be extinct by the time he/she grows up.
Yeah,we did the dog day thing here but very toned down and only with DD1.MIL wrapped my tummy up in ripped bits of a sheet(classy lady!) and we had a meal together.It is also a celebration that you have reached a milestone in your pregnancy and past the main danger zone of losing the baby.
As for the support,I used one with DD1 and loved it but she was a winter baby.With DD2 it was too hot for me but I missed it alot.As with most of these clash in customs and new expeirences,I think your attitude is spot on by giving things a try.The good bit about inter-cultural marriages is that we can really get some great ideas from both sides
http://yokomatsu.blogspot.com/2009/06/day-of-dog-and-other-japanese-pregnancy.html
don’t you just love it when conversations spiral out of control and you go from being a participant in it to just the subject?
I did the inu no hi thing and wrote my Anzan ema. I had to go with Ken’s mum’s best friend because his mum is Christian and won’t do Buddhist things BUT doesn’t want us missing out so BF supplies all our Buddhist needs…. not sure how it works out but hey…
It’s just the first in a long line of new kid related cultural experiences- enjoy the ride!
Oh I never got to do that one, not sure why MIL didn’t suggest it. The only Japanese tradition I came across when pregnant was when dh’s aunt died I was unable to go to the funeral. Though I read on S’s blog that if you have a mirror in your pocket you can go to one. I love learning new things. After R was born though we had the naming/ blessing ceremony. I love learning about Japanese traditions especially since we are moving back to Canada I want R to grow uo experiencing Japanese culture as well. This year MIL bought us a Kabuto set and we hung the koi no bori. Look forward to hearing more about you dog day experience.
Awww, sounds like a very nice tradition, definitely do it! And like everyone else said, a few extra blessings for Goma-chan certainly couldn’t hurt anything!
hi.
i wore the old-skool haraobi at around 8 months to keep babe in position! she was upside down and after the midwife turned her, i was told wrapping my belly should help her stay head down. it worked!! but very difficult to wrap by myself.
plus it was winter and i always had a gap between my pants and tops. warm!