MIL…
MIL rang me at 10:30am this morning to see if she could stop by our apartment to drop off some pants for Shun (that my mum sent- but I wasn`t sure I could take them up myself so she got someone to do it for us) and some other things that she forgot on the weekend.
I said not a problem.
She rang again when she arrived at Funabashi station saying that she had come by train (I thought she would of driven) and could she stop and get anything for us from the supermarket. I had plans to go out today and pick up a couple of things and update our bank book and pick up the drycleaning but it looked freezing outside so I gave her a couple of things to pick up for me (veggies and OJ)- I figured the dry cleaning and bank book can wait another day!
When she arrived I invited her in (of course!) but she said she was not going to stay long- she had the groceries, some mail, the pants and some smoked cheese that she bought somewhere recently (I guess she went on a day trip? Somewhere famous for smoked cheese?)…we were still chatting 5 minutes later so I invited her in for a drink but she said no it was fine. We continued chatting about my family and SILs pregnancy and other things and must have talked for almost 20 minutes standing in the entrance to our apartment before she said she needed to go because she had to do her own shopping before she went for her afternoon shift at the hoikuen (she works early mornings and then afternoons at a local hoikuen/daycare centre)- she told me to tell Shun that she would ring him on the weekend to discuss having dinner together sometime soon with BIL & SIL as well and that I should wear lots of warm clothes because it was cold!
I feel bad that she came all this way and still didn`t want to come inside. I was still in bed when she had called at 10:30am (I didn`t get to sleep last night til 4:30am but that is a whole different story!) and so I jumped up did a quick tidy up and cleaned the dishes and got changed into something OTHER than my PJs.
She has never been to our place before when Shun hasn`t been home- I wonder if that is why she didn`t want to come in? Usually even if she comes to pick us up (or FIL does) to take us back to their place usually they will not come in. I find it a bit strange… I was thinking maybe it is because she invited herself but perhaps if I invited her around then she would be more comfortable? I don`t know…
My MIL is quite a shy person but we get on quite well- sometimes we clash over things but I learnt very early on to nod and smile instead of causing waves and she does the same with me (I can tell! hehe!)- as usually any difference of opinion we have is more to do with age and or cultural differences. She has said she would like to come over and help when the baby arrives and I have told her of course and that she is welcome anytime….I hope she knows that I am not just saying that and that if she wants to come over and bring groceries to help me out or what not, especially before my mum arrives from Australia, then she should. Hopefully she won`t just want to stand in the genkan though (entrance) because it is freezing there…
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what a sweet MIL! And the whole crossing the genkan is a big deal thing doesn’t make sense to me either. But it seems it’s pretty full on. I say try calling her up to come over and see if it’s different.
My inlaws are the same. I don`t understand why they won`t just come in!
Aww she sounds really kind and thoughtful, always thinking of you with the shopping etc. You could do a lot worse! It probably is a cultural thing! She probably just doesn’t want to be a “jyama” when she’s called in unexpectedly and knows you are supposed to be resting! I guess the best thing to is to keep on extending the invitation warmly so she knows she’s more than welcome and that you are not just trying to be polite!
I second Heather. Maybe she would feel like she’s not imposing that way?
Although it must be so strange not to have your MIL come into your house in this type of situation,I do envy you.Mine is the opposite and just barges in without a word.Drives me mad that she has no respect for my home and privacy;she will even burstin to the bedroom.Grrr.
I bet your MIL will be a great help when the baby arrives and wow,she even works with kids so will have some sound advice and tips.And also,once the baby arrives,the family bonding will really strengthen.
That’s so nice of your MIL! It’s good to hear you two get along so well.
My MIL and GIL would kind of do the same thing whenever they’d visit our apartment, in the beginning – just stand right outside the door and hand us food-stuffs. Later on, my MIl would actually come in for a spell, and I’d make tea and such for us, and we’d chat for a bit (as I best I could at the time, with my basic Japanese knowledge!). My GIL would still just hand me stuff and jump back on her bike to go again. Sometimes she’d even knock on the back window (where we’d hang our laundry out!) if I didn’t answer the front door right away! Very persistent lady.
We need to take a sample of your MIL’s DNA… and test it for a “good MIL gene” which I’m sure she has.. then I can use it to extract said gene, and with a little genetic experimentation formulate an antidote to those like mine…
seriously… wow. she came all that way, did your shopping and didn’t come it to sticky beak! she needs a medal!
Mine doesn’t usually come inside here either… and she owns our apartment… i wonder what it is? We have to force her inside if we want her for something!
Anyway… its 2:20 now.. and i’m still awake baking… new oven… wow.
xxx
Mine did the same Lulu! And now that we are living in the same house, she knocks on our door about 10 times before entering and only stands in our hallway. I am easy going and don’t require any knocks-just walk right in!