38 weeks tomorrow and freaking out…
I went to the doctor`s today and am now really freaking out because while the baby was semi-engaged a couple of weeks back it now appears that he is not engaged at all although he is still head down and facing backwards. He said that the baby was still a good size although said he came in at about 2.9kg today (compared to the 3.1kg they said on Tuesday- I guess they really do “guess” the estimate weights!)
Doctor basically said that if he doesn`t re-engage soon and come down lower that I will probably need a c-section. I was in shock. I had thought baby was pretty engaged already but I think I may have misunderstood some Japanese at my previous appointments. My belly is higher now than it was 2 weeks ago though so perhaps he was engaged and really did just decide not to stay that way…That said he is not crowding my ribs or anything so I didn`t think he would be considered that high up.
The medication they gave me to stop pre-term labour might of worked TOO well perhaps? The doctor seemed to think even if I was to go into labour naturally that I might end up needing a c-section anyway if the baby didn`t come down at all as he doesn`t think labour would be enough to bring the baby down into position.
I was not expecting this at all and I do not relish the idea of having a c-section at a clinic- it is not that I don`t think they would do a good job I think I would just prefer to be in a hospital if it came to that but Shun told me unless there was a serious complication they wouldn`t take me at a hospital. I have also heard horror stories about c-sections in Japan, more with the after care, that they just give you a panadol and tell you to “gaman” the pain (“gaman” means basically “suck it up”) and won`t give you anything else if you are breastfeeding. The C-section practices at my clinic are that they do do the horizontal cut (good thing, I have heard a lot of places in Japan still do vertical) and you have an epidural and are awake for the first part until the baby is out and you see the baby and then they put you to sleep to sew you up (this seemed weird to me when they told me originally?!) and I asked at the time of my appointment with the midwife back at 32 weeks and she said that they also don`t let you attempt breastfeeding until after you have come out of anaesthesia where as with a natural birth you are allowed to attempt breastfeeding and hold your baby straight away.
Am I panicking over nothing? Why would the doctor say this if he didn`t think it was something I should be aware of. I am so freaked out and I don`t know what I could be doing to make the baby engage further apart from walking and waiting it out…Shun asked if there was anything we should do and doctor said not much we could do but wait and see. Shun also asked about induction after due date if baby wasn`t engaged and doctor said we could try but it might be a waste of time and I would end up needing a c-section anyway…
The doctor said he would check me next Monday (Dec 7th) again at the next appointment and we could discuss options then- I am not even sure why we have to discuss options then since I will still be 39 weeks and not overdue but I think they are worried also about the baby getting too big.
I am so worried and scared. Shun doesn`t know what to do or what he can say to make me feel better (nothing really) but he bought me a poinsietta when he went out to go to the dentist to cheer me up…
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I think it’s absolutely impossible not to worry about every single thing your doctor tells you with your first pregnancy. (The same could be true for pregnancies after as well, but I wouldn’t know about those yet.) I do remember going to an exam on my due date and the doctor saying “nope, no baby in the near future”. How disappointed was I?! I can’t remember if she was engaged or not at that point, but if Goma-chan can be semi-engaged a few weeks ago, I’m sure he can re-engage just as easily, right? I don’t know of anything you can physically do, but maybe try talking to Goma-chan and asking him to help you out may work. I’ve heard of stranger things before. I’m sending you baby engaging vibes!!!
i think you still have a few weeks for the baby to re-engage. maybe the doctor was just trying to give you a little warning of what *may* happen, but try not to worry too much about it. *hugs* of course you’ll worry, but don’t freak out! walk a lot, get down on all fours (hands and knees) and do some breathing exercises to try to relax a bit. i have full confidence that you and goma-chan are going to get through this just fine!
Oh Lulu! *Hugs* You poor thing! I’m sure like others said that the doctor was just making you aware of what could happen. I’m sure you will end up having a natural birth! Try to relax and not think about it so much! Goma chan will come out of your oven when he’s fully baked ! heheh! Keep looking after yourself physically and emotionally by eating well, sleeping well and doing gentle exersise.
Gee doctors know how to stress out soon to be mothers!! My doctor told be to do a particular yoga pose to help ingage the baby(it was in my preg books from Oz so I new it wasn’t strange) so I did that and walked lots. Some Japanese also told be to rub my stomach in large circle like I was turning the baby, by this time I thought anything that might work was worth a shot so I did that too. I think that it is all about relaxation (and your doc isn’t helping there!!) so try to stay calm and have a little chat to goma chan to see if he can help you out!!
I didn’t want a c-section either and upuntil 35 weeks that was the plan (I had growths inside my uterus) but they disappeared and I had a normal delivery of a 3.6kg baby. Goma chan isn’t here yet so just take it day by day
Gah that is such a stressful thing to be told… to be honest I’m really surprised the doctor just wants to jump to that conclusion. I’m sure its just the worst case scenario so that you will be prepared should something happen? I’m hoping he will re-engage and you will have a natural childbirth. I think that keeping up with the walking and also there are some yoga positions or like Illahee said getting down on your hands and knees that may help him to come down a bit more.
Just try and stay calm!!! I’ll be there on the 7th for moral support no matter what happens!
I don’t think he should be having the c-section conversation with you just yet to be honest, that’s just bound to freak you out. My son wasn’t engaged until past 41 weeks, about 2 days before I gave birth to him, and this baby is due on Tuesday and isn’t engaged yet, and there’s been no mention of c-sections. Going straight to c-sections without considering induction is also a bit extreme. Of course inductions may fail, but that’s always a possibility with induction. Why so gung-ho on the c-section so early?
Perhaps at your next appointment you can discuss your options with your doc further, and make it clear that you want to wait at least until you’re past due to consider c-sections or induction unless the baby is in distress somehow. It may be that he’s just putting it out there, but at 38 weeks expecting you to be engaged and ready for labor seems odd. Could it be that there’s some other reason that’s getting lost in translation somehow? You seem to really want to have a natural childbirth and there’s no reason for him to plant that seed of doubt in your mind 2 whole weeks before you’re due, so try and stay positive!
Ditto to what everyone said, sounds like it`s all a bit too soon. I think the misconception is that at 36 weeks your baby is considered full term, of course, that does not mean your body is ready to give birth yet. It`s just a medical term to describe that the baby is well enough developed to survive outside the womb should that occur. I would think the doctor would be happy that you would reach 40 weeks (and like a few discussions in a post you did a while back, your baby IS NOT TOO BIG)..your body will give birth when it is ready and is made to give birth to the particular baby growing within you. My hospital waits til 42 weeks before even deciding to do anything (as long as mum and bub are ok)..I was 4 days `overdue` but even then, the calculations to estimate the due date are just that, estimations. They could be way off, by weeks even.
My doctor told me that I would prob give birth early as I had dilated 3cm and effaced at 37 weeks.. I was overdue..so don`t put too much stock in all of it. Listen to your body, try and relax and breathe deeply..talk to goma-chan, walk stairs (that helps dilation) and if you can, ahem, have sex…best labor inducer, apparently
If doctors were so good at predicting this stuff you’d never hear of them being woken up to come to a birth and they’d never be shortstaffed as they’d know they were going to be busy, right? I really think they get a bit blase and just mention these possibilities the way we mere mortals say ‘reckon it might snow tomorrow’ not realising the panic inducing effect of their words!
Anyway, long and convoluted way of saying hang in there!
I don’t know why doctors say that kind of stuff to first-time mothers. Don’t they know that that type of stuff just freaks us right out!!! I’m pretty sure I wrote the same thing when Sara was at the end of her pregnancy but…soon you will be holding your little boy and no matter how it happened you will be happy and content but mostly glad that it’s all over. We’re all pulling for you.
Also, I second the “have sex” method of labor inducement. It worked for us!!
I think that is rubbish (no offense to your doctor) but for a first time mother, babies often don’t engage for exiting until the actual event of birth (you can read that in lots of mothers magazines and websites)
You are in a lose lose situation at the moment. Late pregnancy really makes you miserable…hormonal…and incredibly tired. When you get “bad news” like that, nothing anyone can say or do will make you feel better. From here on out, I think you have to chant daily to yourself (especially during labor) “the only way out is through” I’m thinking of you every day, and if you need anything, especially just a sympathetic ear, don’t hesitate to call.
hugs dear.
Laura,
You just have to go with the flow!!! The baby will come out what ever is the safest way for you and the baby! I ave been involved in the delivery of hundred of babies via c-section and although the women are scared when they come in the operating room their emotions change as soon as the baby arrives. Can’t believe that the put you to sleep once the baby is born- if you have to have a caesar tell them you want to stay awake for the whole time!!!
When I had Kieran- his head was high and I was induced. Knowing what I know now I would rather have had an elective csection rather than a scary emergency section. But you just have to go with what feels right and safe for you at the time!!!!!
That would have freaked me out too. I hope that the doctor was just trying to give you a heads up and keep you informed. In my experience, Japanese doctors seem to have a lot lacking in the bedside manner department. I have had two c-sections, one in the States and one here in Japan. I was given pain medication in the States while I was in the hospital and also sone to take home, but in Japan nothing once the epidural wore off. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out for you!!
Shame on Japanese Drs!!! He shouldn`t have said anything to you at the moment about that, perhaps the next appointment but definitely sounds like he was out to scare you when he shouldn`t have.
Although I know it will be hard, just try to relax as much as you can. Not sure what you can do to get the baby to engage more (heaven knows I tried getting on all fours and 3 hours into pushing, Misora still wasn`t making her way down, but she does have T`s big head).
Goma-chan is face down and not breach which would be the bigger concern I think. In a few of my books they said that it was just as easilly possible to give birth natural to a baby in posterior position.
Just went to locate one of my books and they say that 25% of babies are in this position and they usually do turn on their own during labor. The only difference is that the mother the backache (which I don`t really remember having, I always just felt I had to poop) that comes during labor and usually stops for the pushing stage is still there until the baby turns on their own. As for a birthing position to help, the book says to have your hands down and tilt your pelvis while in a sort of squat position.
I`m sure google could probably come up with a bunch of more helpful advice that wasn`t listed. Just try to keep positive.
Hopefully a C-section won’t be necessary!
If you’re feeling desperate to induce labor, i’ve heard plenty about foot massages inducing labor (http://www.brighthub.com/health/alternative-medicine/articles/16234.aspx). i’m sure a foot massage would be a nice way to relax regardless.
Everyone has said it all!Just wanted to add my many (((hugs))) and hope that next weeks appoinment can put your mind at rest.
I just googled and found this…chances are you already read it, but I thought it would make you feel better…
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/articles/birth/baby-engaged
And thanks for the advert on facebook
Lulu, I am SOOOOOOOOO sorry I am just getting around to commenting on this now, but you have gotten so much great advice already that I really can’t add much more!!
I know it must be hard but try not to stress too much about what the doctor told you – I think it was way too premature for him to say that you would need a c-section. He should have just kept his mouth shut… whats the point in worrying a first time mum about something that could easily change by your next appointment.
*HUGS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doctors here definitely lack in the bedside manner department! Like everyone else says, try not to let it freak you out as it won’t be helping you or Goma-chan. Just file it away as a possibility that you’ve now been made aware of and focus on believing that you’ll be having a safe natural birth when you and Goma-chan are both ready
Hi there — I’ve had three c-sections, two in Los Angeles and one in Tokyo. While I hope you don’t need one, and that you have the easiest, most pleasant birth experience possible, I will just say that they really are nothing to fear. But I know exactly how you feel — my first one was unplanned, after a failed induction at 42+ weeks, and I remember actually weeping in front of the nurse because it really was my WORST fear at the time — but it was okay!
I do agree with commenters who say Japanese hospitals could do a better job with the follow-up medication afterwards, but this applies to medicine in general in this country. Overall, my experience was still fine — my baby was fine, I was fine. I also agree with commenters who say your doctor could have a better attitude of not discussing scary possible scenarios with you — I think some doctors just don’t realize how scary c-sections seem to most people having them for the first time! I remember the anesthesiologist saying to me, “Relax, we do this everyday,” and me saying to him, “Yeah, well, I DON’T!!!”
Hang in there, it will all be okay no matter what happens.
Your doctor sounds like a moron. My second baby wasn’t engaged until about 10am on her birthdate and showed up at lunch.
Sometimes I think that doctors get off on scaring the bejeezers out of their patients.
Sending lots of easy labour vibes.
Thanks to everyone for their comments!!!!! I am sorry I have not replied individually- I am walking a lot more (Shun & I went for a big walk near the house yesterday) and using the stairs in our building more and doing some yoga to help things along. Other than that, taking it easy and thinking positively!!! Also trying to sit up more instead of lying around when I am on the computer or watching TV…not quite as comfortable but hey…
I have hit the nesting stage a little though and scrubbed our kitchen floors today- doubt hub will notice though. hehe. Have a huge list of other stuff I want to clean tomorrow which is so not like me.
I do not mind if baby is not born yet I just want him to come when he is ready but if at all possible would prefer a natural birth- especially here in Japan.
Thanks again to everyone.
Hopefully I get my wish!
Everyone has given you so much good advice so I really don’t have much to add but I agree that you shouldn’t take too much notice of your doctor. I was 8 days overdue with Liam and I remember that the doctor seemed surprised that I had actually gone into labor naturally. They often don’t have much idea and just play a guessing game! Silly doctors