This is something I worry about with Noah constantly. I am concerned that because we plan to live in Japan long term, if not forever, that his English will suffer once he enters daycare or kindergarten. I constantly worry that I do not interact with him enough in English or read enough books but how can I possibly know what is enough. I am also always worried that if I don`t do enough now that his English will suffer down the line because of what I did or didn`t do when he was a baby.
I have met many bilingual children in my time (some have an native English speaking parents and others have been students that might have been going through the international school system)- some have a better grasp on English than others and what I have noticed is that children that come from a ML@H (Minority language at home) home tend to have the better English. Of course the students with a non native English speaking parent tend not to have a brilliant grasp of English (at least not up to the same level as peers the same age) but that said I have met some kinds whose English is excellent considering their parents don`t really speak much English and they grow up in a non-English environment except for school.
Do some children just have a national gift at languages?
I am sure this is not always the case (the case been that ML@H seems to work better)- and in our case I hope it is not ALWAYS true since we use the OPOL (one parent, one language) method mostly. We really had no choice in this since my husband`s English is not up to a standard where he could continue to speaking to Noah in English once he starts talking himself. Shun sometimes speaks to Noah in one word English sentences but more often than not uses Japanese.
I want to hear from others raising bilingual children what you do with your kids? Do you think it was enough? Are your children more gifted in one or the other? What method (if you use one or the other) do you use at home and are your pretty strict about it?
I read to Noah everyday without fail- usually at least 4 or 5 different books sometimes as many as 10 (although some might have been repeats as he often bangs certain books until I read them again). I talk to him in English, I tell him what he is playing with and if he is watching a dvd I try to sit with him and talk about what is happening (although he usually watches a dvd while I am cooking dinner so sometimes I am not close enough by to talk to him about what is happening)- when we go out I explain what we are passing or what we are going to do. The truth is though when we are home I can not talk to him 100% of his awake time- it is just impossible especially as he makes no response (at least not in word form). When he makes a noise and points or gestures at something in particular like his book, outside (through the veranda door) or a ball then I make sure to always say “yes, a ball” or “yeah, outside. It`s raining”…I also do a lot of singing with him (which he loves) and finger ryhmes or songs with actions.
What sorts of things do you do with you child? What did you do with them when they were Noah`s age? Had your child spoken their first word by a year?
I tend to tell people, even though I know it is not 100% true, that they shouldn`t be surprised if he speaks later than others because he is been raised bilingual and is also a boy. From my experience boys do speak later than girls- although of course this is not EVERY boy or EVERY girl. Same with the bilingualism- sure some bilingual children speak later but some speak earlier than average and others speak on average the same time as other children but come out with words in both languages from the very start. I am not sure why I feel the need to tell people this……I guess I am concerned that if he is late to talk that I want there to be a “reason” for it even though research shows that bilingual children DO NOT necessarily speak later than non-bilingual children.
As Noah nears 10 months I am worried that he has not seemed to say any “words” yet- he babbles and he makes sounds and he squeels and he claps and dances but he makes no “words”- he says mamamamamam, dadadadadada, bababababababba but they do not mean anything yet, at least not to me (and they do not seem to mean much to him yet either)….
According to baby center the average 18 month old can speak a dozen or more words clearly… quite a few can also link 2 words together to form small sentences like “want drink” or “eat more”. There is not much info for one year olds except to say that most one year olds have said their first word already.
Complete bilingualism won`t just “happen”- I know it is easy to think it will if you talk to your child in one language even though their outside world is all in another language. Of course they will have a grasp of English (or language used by one or the other parents) but how can I make it so that he has an EVEN grasp of both by the time he enters elementary school. Is there a way I can ensure he is fully biligual? Should I just continue what I am doing?
I am sure there are a few other bloggers there, who like me have babies and younger toddlers that would love to hear from sempai mums (expert mama`s or mama`s with older children) hear others feedback on this issue?
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I am just a twenty something Aussie girl living in Chiba, Japan with my Japanese husband trying to make sense of the crazy Japanese world we live in! We welcomed our first son in December 2009 (Noah) and a second son in January 2011, 2 months premature (Shion). I am working hard at raising them to be confident, bilingual, happy kids!
Have you thought about introducing sign language to help link the two spoken languages? At 10 months your son is at the age where most kids start signign things like “good bye” or putting out their arms as a sign for “pick me up”. Great DVDs like Baby Signing Time not only help the the child but it can also teach the parents. My husband also struggles with English but when my son puts a sign with the words it makes it easier for hubby to understand. The decreas in frustration levels is well worth it! (plus Signing Time songs are fun to song!)
Hi Houdini
Actually I have done baby sign with Noah since he was young and have have done classes since he was 5 months old (although class is in Japanese, once a month). I also have the first 8 signing time dvds although if Noah watches them I prefer to be with him (where as I put wiggles on if I am making dinner)…
So far he does “more”, “pick me up”, and “ball. I keep doing other signs but he has not signed others back to me yet.
As well as clapping. He can wave good bye but tends to do it with both arms so I am not sure he really understands that yet or not…
It sounds like you’re off to a good start! Keep signing and He’ll probably have a burst of them around 12-14 months. There seems to be a sensitive period around that time (Montessori concept…)
With my son and his signing friends they are all biligual (they are still all under 4 years old though…) even if English has very little use in the home. In some cases the “I had English” stages came with an exception for Signing Time because the kids love Alex adn Leah so much!
I think worrying when a child will speak is one of those universal milestones that all parents are concerned with
I think that when it comes to uttering a first word, when you’ve been hearing two languages has to play some part in a delay of speech. How do you choose WHICH language to try out this whole speaking thing with??
He obviously a very smart little cookie so he’s probably just letting it all make sense in his head before he start speaking in any sort of meaningful way.
Don’t worry about what the “average” baby is doing at any particular age, it’s not even close to the point where it’s worth worrying about his lack of speech or meaningful babble, just keep doing what you’re doing and he’ll talk when he’s ready
Houdini- Yeah, I actually “know” of your work as I was a relief teacher over the summer at Hana House where I know they do baby sign in English. Too far for me to travel on a regular basis though unfortunately. You are on maternity leave now though, right?
Do you do montessori work at home with your son too? I am hoping to give some montessori based toys to Noah for his first birthday- if we can`t afford the real deal then it will be montessori themed/wooden toys if at all possible. I do not know a lot about the method but I have done some reading on it.
Is your son speaking more Japanese or English? Congrats on the birth of your daughter by the way.
Jen- That is good to know. I think a lot of parents can become obsessed with “milestones” but it is definitely important to remember every child is different. At the moment Noah`s “babble” is more English sounding. Even compared to Japanese only language peers he sounds different when he babbles and I think this is more from the English input so I imagine after mama and dada his first words are more likely to be English.
Will just have to wait and see though
Ryu has the same vocal as Noah by the sounds of it – but his now constant babble is lot more ‘english sounding’ than Shou and Marina’s were. Odd. Shou and Marina both started full time daycare at about 14 months and they speak Japanese 24/7. I am trying to use a lot more English at home now and Shou understands 90% of what I say and Marina probably about 50%. Shou translates for her sometimes
I wish I had the choice of English kindergartens – the closest one is where Rachel sent her girls and that’s an hour away each way so that would be four hours of car commuting each day. I also want the kids to be at kinder with kids they will go to school with. I need to try more. I’m thinking about not putting Ryu in kinder next April and keeping him at home until his 3. We’ll see though. Good luck. It’s definitely something I worry about. Hub’s English is so minimal that it wouldn’t be fair asking him to just try and use English at home – and wouldn’t want the kids picking up his accent anyway 
My girls are 6 (M) and almost 4 (L). M went to hoikuen 3 days a week from 10 months-2yo, English preschool for a year (with me as teacher, nightmare!!) and I was SAHM with L until she started local yochien this past spring. We do OPOL because there is no way we want them to speak my Japanese or my husband’s English. Because I was with them, especially L, the majority of the time until they started yochien their English was much stronger than their Japanese when they were little. I was actually a little worried about it, but their Japanese more or less caught up within a year at yochien, but M still reads better in English and has a bigger vocabulary in English even now. They play together about 70/30 English/Japanese (unless they are playing Precure). I think the biggest thing that has helped is that my mother stays with us twice a year and we go to the US at least once a year so they are placed in a situation where they have to speak English with non-Japanese speakers. But this, of course, isn’t possible for most people. We are lucky. I remember the hardest thing when M was little was trying to get her to understand pronouns. Since it was only the two of us, she thought that “you” was herself and “me” or “I” was mommy. She finally caught on during one of my mother’s visits.
It also helped M that when L was starting to speak she didn’t speak much Japanese, so M was under the impression that she had to speak to her in English.
It sounds like you are doing more than a wonderful job with Noah! You can’t expect yourself to speak to him every waking moment. He will be fine!
Hi,
Just letting you know what we do in our household….everyone has their own opinions, but this is what works for us!
I have a son who’s about to turn 4. Japanese hubby and I practice Minority Language. English only in the house (unless visitors come etc). We were in a similar place with hubby’s low-level language too but since coming back from holidays in Australia last year, we decided to really try (him really) and speak English inside, no matter how disjointed it was. I’m so pleased to say he has improved so much this past year and I’m really proud of him! He was so sceptical before but now hardly ever complains
Our son was exposed to both languages from birth but 75% of what he heard would have been my voice in English. I always speak English to him, no matter where we are and who is around us etc. When Japanese vistitors come, I switch to Japanese for them but only speak to DS in English (then simply translate for them if need be). He didn’t start speaking until after his first birthday, but from all the information I’ve read concerning bilingual kids, this is totally normal. I would add on extra months for anything speech related, when comparing to monolingual kids.
DS has always heavily favoured English, in fact he only really knew a few Japanese words (greetings etc) before he entered regular Kindy in April this year. A lot of (Japanese – relatives mostly) people doubted our methods, worrying that he wasn’t speaking enough Japanese and that he would find Kindy too daunting, but thankfully he has proved them all wrong. After one semester at kindy he is speaking in full Japanese sentences and blowing me away with new words everyday (mostly at the bus stop)!!
It’s our most challenging time yet, as he’s getting so much Japanese now and it’s hard for him to switch over after kindy finishes. I figure we just have to keep being as strict as possible with English only at home so that he understands that’s just the way our house is! If he says something in Japanese inside, I just say, “English please”. If he can’t figure it out himself, we just say, “do you mean ____?”
We watch telly, videos and read books in English. Basically we’re trying to teach him English and have Kindy teach him Japanese
This is something I’m always always always curious about, I’m glad you asked it!
I imagine once we have kids we’ll be doing ML@H, since Tatsuya and I ALWAYS communicate in English… even if we’re with people (like his parents) who only speak Japanese. Haha, it must be confusing sometimes, but it sounds like judging from Sempai Mama Melanie above me, making the distinction clear is good. For me, I’m still on my own “road to bilingualism”, but I only feel natural speaking to T in English, and Japanese with everyone else, so perhaps our children will feel the same way about their relationship with their Mama and Papa.
I must say, since I started my job at the English school and have interacted with different age groups (pre-, advanced pre- and kindergarten) it’s interesting to see how their English skills differ. All levels blow me away with their memories, but by the time they’re at the kindergarten level, they talk A LOT… it’s mostly in Japanese, but I’m always impressed by how much English they understand. Even if it’s us directing them in English and them answering with Japanese.
Anyway, as others have said before, I don’t think you have to worry too much that Noah isn’t saying any words yet. Theories are good to keep in mind, but it’s possible the most likely reason is just because he is Noah the individual, and he’ll talk when he’s good and ready to do it. Sounds like at least you’re doing everything you can do to help him along
Thanks for the congratulations. Yes, I’m on maternity leave until my daughter is big enough (or I’m confident enough!) to make the treck across Tokyo for class every week. I can’t wait to go back but two little kids on the train with me… well, I need a bit more practice with that!
My son’s English is about a year ahead of his age and his spoken Japanese is 6 months to a year behind. I only speak mainly English with him and my husband spilts about 50/50 with Eng. and Jap. In an effort to expand his mind I also use German a bit and we read books/watch videos/sing in a variety of languages as well as use ASL. I like to experiment and having kids is a chance to observe various patterns in language aquisition!
When meeting someone knew he “tests” them with his various languages until he decides which one the new person will respond to the quickest. It’s kind of fun to watch
As to Montessori things… Ikea has some great toys along that line at a reasonable price. エド・インター and Kumon (both can be found on Amazon.co.jp) have good products at a reasonable price. I’ve used them to substitute for buying the more expensive “official” Montessori materials.
Hello Lulu. I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog before, although I have been lurking for a long time. Anyway, HI!
My children are 10 and 7, born and raised in Australia in a bicultural home. I guess we use what you call the “minority language at home” approach and they are, for all intents and purposes, bilingual, I suppose. Certainly they have nowhere near the extent of Japanese vocab as children raised in Japan do and some of their grammar is a bit wonky, but they are doing really well and we are really proud of them.
Much as I wish we were living in Japan, I think that it was probably a good thing that we are bringing the children up here because my husband’s English is definitely not strong enough to have done it that way in Japan, i.e., with English only spoken at home, and I don’t know whether I would have had the self-discipline to only speak English to the children by myself.
Because our son (the 10-year-old) really didn’t (wouldn’t?) speak English until he was four and a half, Japanese really had a good chance to take firm root in his brain and he is perfectly happy to speak Japanese even to me (they both only speak Japanese to their dad). My daughter, on the other hand, pretty much came out of the womb talking and she hasn’t stopped since, so she learned Japanese and English at the same time. Although she’s capable of speaking Japanese and will do so when prompted, she prefers to speak in English and will do so as much as she can get away with (never with my husband, only with me, so I have to be mean Mummy a lot of the time).
This may not be relevant to your situation, but others who are planning to use the ML@H approach may find some of the things that we did helpful.
- We’re quite strict about only speaking Japanese when we are all together, especially at the dinner table.
- The children are equipped with a “Japanese switch”. When either of them, usually my daughter, starts to use too much English, we talk about their switch being stuck or broken. When Hana was little I actually used to push her nose or pull her ear or something like an actual switch and make a beeping noise, and that was enough to make her switch back.
- Our most important rule is that, if we speak to them in Japanese, they must respond in Japanese. I think it’s really easy to fall into the trap of parent speaking the minority language and the child speaking the majority(?) language (sorry I’m not up on my bilingualism terminology, but you get my drift). It runs the risk of their second language becoming too passive and they won’t be able to speak it when they need to, which would be such a shame. I decided that this rule would work both ways, i.e., that if one of them initiated a conversation with me in English, then I would respect that and respond in English, but the next time I spoke to them in Japanese, they would have to speak back in Japanese. It’s not easy, especially with Hana and her chatterbox ways, but we are persevering.
- We seem to be fairly unusual in that our names for each other change according to what language we are speaking. I have one friend whose children speak to her in English but call her お母さん, and I know a lot of Japanese and half-Japanese children here who speak Japanese to their parent/s, but call them Mummy/Daddy. We are お父さん and お母さん in Japanese, but Daddy and Mummy in English. The children are しんちゃん and はなちゃん in Japanese, but Shinya and Hana in Japanese, even between themselves. When they were small, it actually worked as a kind of code. If I called them by their English names, it meant it was okay to be in English mode, and if I called them by their Japanese names, they knew they had to turn on that Japanese switch.
Sorry, this got way too long, but it’s a topic that is close to my heart.
It sounds like you are already doing heaps of great things for Noah already, so don’t be so hard on yourself. There is a huge difference between 10-month-olds and 18-month-olds, even between 10-month-olds and 12-month-olds, so I’m sure Noah will be fine.
Your litle boy is gorgeous, by the way.
Lulu, sounds like you are doing a great job. One thing you may want to do though is testing for understanding. (after a year anyway). For example.. bring me the newspaper.. where is your arm? do some of the action songs and phrases that they teach the kids in Japanese and English (can’t remember off-hand, something about nigiru etc. Try giving him lots of choices and ask him to indicate what he wants etc. Also, you can verbalize what you are doing when you are doing the housework (now I’m wiping the table etc.).. With a picture book, ask the ‘what’s that?’ question a lot. I know that you are probably already doing this, but just in case. Nancy Tsurumaki
oh this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Alex has been nattering away for a few months now (in both English and Japanese). I speak to her only in English and her papa in Japanese but she seems to find it easier to communicate in Japanese. Words she often uses are koko, kore, shita, and tonight she said owata. Really simple but she gestures and communicates with lots of babble too. I would say her English vocab is wider, but for useful words it seems Japanese is winning out. I`m glad my folks will be coming over in Jan for a few months so am hoping the 100% English communication will come just at the right time for her.
She likes flicking through books but doesn`t have the patience to sit through me reading one. I put You Tube on a lot and have selection of kiddie songs (not the wiggles, she`s taken a real dislike to them, overdosed perhaps?) She remembers the gestures for head/shoulders song and a bunch of others but she only says `happy` for the if you`re happy and you know it song..
Hopefully having a brother or sister around soon will encourage her to speak/interact more in English (something I am keen on hence not planning on putting her into kinder til 4 or so)..looking forward to reading what others say..
We live in inaka so no other English speakers around really.Both my girls started full-time daycare at 6 months old.DD1 started talking early and it was mostly Japanese sounding,despite me reading to her every day and watching only English DVDs.
But then we had 3 months in the UK when she was 2 and a bit and she came back fluent in English.And that was that! Even now,she is fluent and we continue to do OPOL at home ,read books every day(ish!) and watch lots of English TV and DVDs.And only talj in English together.
DD2 is now 2.She makes sounds and a few words are strung togther to make a vague sentence.She is well behind her daycare peers in terms of speech.So what;)Lots of her words are in Japanese but she understands everything in English(and Japanese!) and uses English words with me.She seems to have made the connection between who speaks what language and knows that I only respond to her in English.When playing with her big sister,it is all in English unless DH comes along…then DD1 will switch to Japanese as she knows he understands very little;)
Things that I have learned so far;
1) Never give up with language.I cannot speak Japanese with my girls now as I have always used English.Using Japanese is not natural for us but I use Japanese with DH.It all works out!
2) Insist on a word/sentence to be repeated in English if said in japanese by your child.
3) DD1 still makes mistakes in her grammer/pronounciation.I never tell her about her mistake but just repeat correctly what she wants to say when I listen to her.It had become second nature for both of us now and she picks up on the real way to say things rather than feeling that she has made a mistake and has been corrected.
4) Books….yes! TV and DVDs…Yes! And trips home once a year or so,for at least 4 weeks are a must if possible(But..our last UK trip was Jan 2009 and the next is summer 2011!)
5) Skype is a blessing (even though we dont use it as my family don’t want to know
) but I have heard great things!
I remember feeling so stressed out when DD1 was a wee thing.Every waking moment with her was a chance to speak English and make her remember.I felt that I had to talk to her all the bloody time.IBut then again,now I can say that it is AMAZING to be able to communicate with my child as I do now.But if it hadn’t happened,the love for my child would be the same:)
Do what you can and you will see results.It isn’t always easy but you do reap some lovely benefits.
I would say you are doing things the right way already. I think language is one of those things that children or babies can sort out without too much interference from parents.
So many things to say!
I think you tell people he might be delayed as a way of staving off possible criticism. Or you are worried that he really will have a language delay, and bilingualism is a convenient hook you can hang that on, because most people in Japan support bilingualism, at least with English, so they’ll accept that. But don’t worry yet!! He is not even a year old. I know I said Erica had words at 10 months, but that was partly me assigning meanings to her babble! You will be astonished when suddenly one month he’ll add about a dozen words. Language seems to come in spurts.
We are also OPOL, but I made the home an English place – English books, movies, TV, etc. We had a lot of holidays in NZ, Grandma came to stay. They went to the English kindy for two years, which I think really helped. As long as he is at home with you, just be natural – normal amount of speech, some books. You may have to elevate the level if he starts Japanese kindy.
Keep meeting English-speaking friends – babies learn a lot about language from watching and listening to adults speak to each other.
Don’t aim for balanced bilingualism by the time he reaches school. That site I put on your fb page also had an interesting article about the bugbear of so-called ‘perfect balanced bilingualism’ which many believe to be impossible anyway. Aim for strong English, because you will be amazed at how quickly he picks up Japanese, and begins to prefer it, once he starts kindy. Get in as much English as you can while you still can!
Yes, some kids are better at languages than others, BUT learning language is a basic human trait – while some may be quicker, or ‘better’ everyone can do it. I think the differences in balance have more to do with exposure. Perfectly bright, language-gifted children will not learn a language if they are not exposed to it. Bilingual children who don’t get enough exposure to English will choose not to speak it if there doesn’t seem to be much point – kids always take the easy option when it comes to communication. I think those two things – exposure and need, influence how much English a kid speaks more than innate ability.
I’m strict with the English at home, but not mean. I just constantly remind them. And tell them we have to teach Daddy and Erica English too. If they use Japanese words in a sentence I ask for an explanation then give them the English translation – the goal is to make it easier for them to just speak English to me. The use Japanese with each other more and more now, though I can usually effect a switch by just butting in and asking a question in English. I specifically request them to speak to Erica only in English, reminding them that she needs to learn so she can speak to Grandma and her cousins. They understand this and happily comply.
I think it’s easy to get too stressed about bilingualism. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try (quite the opposite!) but I think every kid/ every family/ every situation is different and it can be unhelpful to get too stuck on the theory/ what everyone else is doing to the expense of a fun, relaxed family atmosphere (not that you can’t have both if your lucky.)
What are your goals? Do you want Noah to be able to have the option of HS/ Uni in Oz? To avoid katakana pronunciation? To read Shakespeare? To be the elusive perfect bilingual and think/ dream/ write poetry equally in both languages?
What is your support system? English playgroups/ Saturday schools? Skype willing and able rellies? International kinder?
What is your kids personality? Are they drawn to language? A chatterbox? A social butterfly who enjoys the extra attention speaking English out and about will garner? More shy and reserved?
Speaking personally Meg (7) is quite shy and was slow to speak much in any language. She was nenchuu (4-5) before she would willingly tell me about her day at kinder. Not that kinder was traumatic, just that she didn’t start conversations much. She is very keen to fit in, not stand out from the crowd and therefore speaking English in public makes her squirm. Speaking Japanese in public too but to a lesser degree. Amy is much more confident, tells anyone who’ll listen that she’s Australian and an eigo-jin, makes up bizarre words and ‘teaches’ her friends, speaks/ sings constantly in any language and often asks me the English name for things. We are 95% OPOL but every now and again K will give English a go. I am not strict (enough?) about the girls answering me in English. We have no English kinders/ Saturday schools here and I know of one other family who speak English at home. My goals are pretty low for the girls bilingualism. I want them to have a relationship with my monolingual family and I want to give them a foundation in English for their future. *If* they have a desire to be bilingual when they are older I will put 200% into helping them with reading/ writing at grade level. If not I will be disappointed but will help them equally with their Japanese. I didn’t speak a word of Japanese until I was 13. I learnt from a white Aussie ex-French teacher until Year 11 when I studied by correspondence as I was beyond a level she could teach. I’m sure I would fail any tests on bilingualness there are but I now speak and read, write and understand at a level that I am more than capable of functioning in society here. Would I be more fluent if I had started earlier? Maybe. Is it impossible to be fluent if you aren’t bilingual from birth? No.
Sorry this is so long and so opinionated but this is something I feel strongly about and have spent much time thinking about and wondering and defending my decisions to other foreign mums here. Just couldn’t resist another opportunity to get it all out. ;P
It sounds like you are doing heaps with Noah already and thinking about the future to boot. I’m sure you will find a way of doing things that works for you all. Ganbatte and good luck!
I am so glad you wrote this post Lulu. As you know this is something I stress a lot about as well – especially now because of Leilah’s hearing loss for the first 3.5 months of her life. I try to talkto Leilah as much as possible but I find that I just can’t talk all the time. I feel stupid walking along telling Leilah about everything I see when she isn’t even looking in the same direction as me… lol! Oh, and when she is the pram I have no idea where she is looking so I usually end up not talking at all. We read 4 or 5 stories everyday and she watches a little bit of TV everyday as well. Whenever we talk to my mum or my sister on skype I always have the volume coming through the computer and not my ‘skype phone’ so Leilah can hear them as well.
We are doing Minority Language at home for now – it is working for us. I know that a lot of people say they don’t want they children picking up strange pronounciation etc by their daddies but I feel that English at any level is better than none at all. We don’t live in a place where English playgroups, international schools, lots of other ‘half’ kids are the norm. I go weeks and weeks without seeing another person – least of all another ENGLISH SPEAKING person. So if Naoki spoke to Leilah in English than I feel she just wouldn’t be getting enough English exposure. I know that Naoki’s English sucks – but for now, he has enough vocab for daily conversations with Leilah. I am sure that he will ‘learn’ with her and hopefully they will be able to continue speaking English as Leilah gets older. I am not the only one pushing for English at home though. Naoki too wants to only speak English to her. He is trying and I am proud of him for it!!
I do find that when we go and about with other Japanese people we tend to start speaking Japanese to Leilah. I really have to make more of an effort not to do this. We have just started noticing that if somebody talks to Leilah in Japanese she starts to cry
A lady at nishimatsuya and 2 of my Japanese friends tried talking to Leilah/wanting to hold her and she started screaming down the house… Interesting, hey! I wonder what she will be like when we see her Japanese grandparents again.
To be honest I am just stressed that Leilah isn’t going to talk at all – either in English or Japanese:( At 6 months old she still isn’t babbling (although she did start) but has now resorted back to squeeling. As she had a hearing loss I just don’t know what to expect from her. I don’t know if maybe in order for her to catch up with her peers I need to be doing MORE than what I am already…
You are doing a wonderful job with Noah though!! I bet he will have no issues with being billingual. Have confidence in yourself to teach and in Noah to learn.
Since Emi was born, we speak mostly English at home (my husband is fluent so that helped) and everywhere else we speak Japanese (except that I couldn’t speak Japanese in the beginning so that meant only English from me for the first four or five years). When the girls started preschool at age four their English was on par for their age and their Japanese was at least a year behind if not more but they had basic speech patterns down and their pronunciation sounded native. Once they started school within a year their Japanese was on par for their age. Natsuki will start preschool this April and I’m happy to say that all four of my girls followed the same pattern. Natsuki definitely spoke later than her sisters but I think that’s just because she’s the youngest and didn’t really have a “chance” to speak!!
The place where I made a mistake was that just about the time I should’ve been teaching Emi to read and write English, Natsuki came along and I didn’t have time. Now both Emi and Misaki are only at a kindergarten level for their reading and writing which is sad. Fortunately they both really want to learn so I’m trying to make time to teach them. With Sakura I bought her the BrainQuest workbook and we started earlier this year so she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be.
Another interesting thing is that although Emi and Misaki are doing really well at school both of their teachers have commented that occasionally their Japanese sounds like they’re translating from English! But over 90% of the time they’re just fine! Overall I’m very happy with the way things have turned out for their bilingualism. They love being able to speak both languages and they’ve never preferred one over the other. Probably because my husband and I feel the same way.
You’ll figure it out! You’re doing a great job so far. I would be careful about using signing for too long. Eventually kids need to use the words. I did baby sign until a year and a half with all four girls and then I stopped once they had enough vocabulary to express themselves even if that was only “no, more, all done, please and thank you”!
Thank you to EVERYONE who has commented so far. It has been great reading about others experiences and what has worked for each family. I will continue to do what I am doing with Noah and hope that when he is ready to start talking he will- will keep fingers crossed that it will mainly be in English too, at least at first.
Thanks to everyone as well that has offered hints as well. Sarah (mommyinjapan), what you said about reading/writing is interesting. What age did you intend to start with them? I plan to do dexterity and ABC recognition etc with Noah from 2.5-3, am hoping the reading will come naturally and the writing I will work on once he starts some kind of kindergarten. With baby #2 I will do a similar thing I hope- might start dexterity earlier if the younger shows an interest in doing what the older one is doing.
Heather- I would love to talk to you about this further next time we see each other. You made some interesting points and i will definitely think more about what my exact goals for Noah are.
Rachel- Similar to what I said to heather, if we ever met up I would love to discuss this further.
Clare Maree- Nice to hear from someone doing the bilingual thing in Australia. Interesting to hear how your approach has worked and how the children have managed to gain a good grasp of the Japanese language despite been raised in Australia. Also I love that you do minority language at home IN AUSTRALIA. I think if Shun & I were living in Australia we would do the same thing and switch to using Japanese at home.
Sorry I haven`t written individual replies to you all. I really do appreciate the comments, advice and sharing of information though so thank you!
Thanks for bringing this up. I’ve been stressing about bilingualism too.
We do ML@H, even though my husband’s English is crap. I agree with Nay, that hearing English, no matter how good, is important. They see that we value English. DH, who never even took English in high school, is studying for TOEIC now, and he studies at the same time we do DS’ homework.
Yes, I give my 3 year-old homework. I am the English Nazi.
Mostly we just work on numbers and letters and writing the alphabet. We have some Preschool Prep workbooks which come in handy. And there are so many fab iPod/iPhone apps for learning letters and Phonics.
I think that my son is at his age level for English comprehension. I think his personality helps, he’s a chatty little fellow. However, we have some pronunciation issues (he can’t say “th” and has l/r issues) which could be chalked up to his age or being in Japan.
As for baby words- babbling at this stage is perfect. Absolutely perfect. DD (now 18 months) had her first word (Anpanman) at 13 months. She has more than a dozen words now, and her comprehension is fantastic and can put short sentences together (Bye Bye Bus!). I heard about all those kids saying a dozen words at 11 months, but those are the outliers, not my kid and not yours.
Books are fab, but at this age I truly think the best is songs/dances. DD really responds to songs, in both English and Japanese, and is a huge fan of humming. That’s where a lot of her words come from now. I am a terrible singer but neither kid seems to mind!
DS was in daycare from 6 months but still spoke a lot of English. When he started kindergarten in April though there was a huge growth in his Japanese, and I really took it personally. He’s getting more balanced now, but it’s still a struggle to get him to speak to me all the time in English. It’s worth the struggle, I think, though.
This has been a really interesting discussion.
I agree with Medea about the songs. They were good for me, too, because I didn’t know any Japanese children’s songs until I had my son and a friend gave me a cassette tape full of them. The children (and me too) picked up a lot of vocab from the songs my husband (mostly) sang to them at bedtime and even a lot of the grammatical patterns and turns of phrase came out in their regular speech as well.
Oh, and Medea, I noticed, just from observing my own children and others at playgroup and kindy that most children don’t start to pronounce “th” properly until they are around 5 or 6. Until then, most of them pronounce it as “f”, but one day it suddenly seems to click and their little tongues are hitting up against the back of their teeth every time. It’s very cute.
Anpanman was “Panpanman” to my son and “Anpanpan” to my daughter when they were little. They love hearing me tell them that now.
Medea-
I imagine I will be a bit of an English nazi. I would like to think I will be at least- interesting to hear where your kids are at now. I was surprised to hear you guys did ML@H because I know you speak Japanese with your hub usually right but I was really impressed to hear that you do do it anyway despite your hubs English (and good on your hub for studying for TOEIC) – I should probably give my hub more credit. He did live in Australia for a year and he went to English school for 3 months and his understanding is quite high- perhaps I should get him to speak MORE English at home. I speak to him in English a lot now when Noah is around and he almost always understands me.
I think the English homework is a good thing- even for a 3 year old. I mean he has no homework from kindy yet right? So really it is the best time to do it before he has a million and one other homework stuff to do once elementary starts.
I want to get an iphone next year (and I have seen the fantastic apps on the ipad too, my friend was showing me and it is great) as well as other things on the computer. I like starfall too! Do you know it? There is a lot of great stuff online actually.
Marianne- I forgot to mention in my earlier comment that I liked what you said about how Annie`s English really took off when you took her home for 2.5 months when she was 2ish. I really hope to do this with Noah when he is about 2 or 2.5 in the hopes that been in an all English environment with others will help him a lot. I am not sure yet if it is going to be financially viable option for us but I hope so (bub #2 would be 1 and likely just starting to form words)
Oh and Skype- we skype with my mum at least 2 times a week, sometimes more.
Oh and my brother couldn`t say “L”s (He called me rara and ruru) when he was little and he also had trouble with s and th so it can be an age thing. Boys tend to have more speech issues than girls too but more often than not they outgrow them.
Clare Maree- the Anpanaman stuff is so cute. The singing is good too- I sing a lot to Noah actually. Must be from my preschool teaching background- he loves songs with actions and of course loves the wiggles too. I am a fan of Raffi and we play Raffi songs sometimes as well.
Hub does not sing though and won`t sing Japanese songs to Noah but sometimes he will watch some on youtube with him. Not quite the same but still…
We had (mostly) English music playing constantly from when the girls were young as well. They also like those song books where you push the button and it plays the song. We did the karaoke versions, too. My husband claimed he didn’t know any Japanese children’s songs, but when I got a Japanese song book with pictures and lyrics (songs for 3 year olds) he suddenly remembered them all and the girls had him sing to them every night.
About first words. My older daughter’s first and only word was “no” from age 10 months until 15 months. And I had been so looking forward to her starting to speak!
I love reading posts like these!!!
So interesting to see everyones take on things. I think Noah sounds perfect for his age speaking wise right now and I have no doubt that English will definitely be his first language.
I guess I’ll put in my 2 yen now. Sakura started daycare last month as you know she’s been talking since she was maybe 10-11 months old with words really coming in right around month 12. She has definitely picking up more Japanese words at daycare. But she still talks a lot in English although she has definite preference for certain words in both language. (ex. “this” instead of “kore,” “oishii” instead of “yummy”) But for the most part I’d say she’s still using more English.
Of course Ryohei doesn’t really use English with her and her kindy is pretty much all Japanese (there is one teacher who speaks only English) so I think its just a matter of time before most of what she says is Japanese… BUT she obviously hasn’t forgotten any of her English as she still will follow English commands.
It does make me a bit sad when I see her speaking Japanese a lot because I worked so hard at home to have an English environment and pretty much a month in daycare and she is almost the same level in Japanese… but since we are planning to move back to America in a couple years I will have the opposite issue of trying to keep her Japanese up then.
I am hoping that once we eventually move back you and I might be able to send you girls in Japan age appropriate reading materials/workbooks etc and maybe get some stuff back in return for Sakura
I thought Heather made a good point with the “what level” are you hoping to achieve. I need to think about that as well…
Although the perfecly billingual thing is AWESOME to watch. There are a bunch of returnee university students on the campus where I work and just listening to them go between prefect English and Japanese is amazing…. makes me want to never attempt Japanese again!
Oh Clare Maree, thank you so much for telling me. I have been really worrying about the th issue, that takes a load off.
Lulu, that’s exactly what I want, is to get him in the habit of doing homework at a certain time. I get DD at the table colouring or doing stickers at the same time so they get into good habits. I let him choose what he wants to do, from Starfall (love!) to number cards to workbooks, but he knows it’s homework time. I am such a hardass!
The hardest thing of all has been switching to English with DH, we used to speak all in Japanese but now it’s English. He’s better about it than I am, sometimes I get really lazy. We have a tip jar and have to put 100 yen in every time we get lazy. DH hates giving up his cigarette money. LOL!
Wow Lulu, you got a lot fo great advice from so many people, and isn’t it great to know, that there are so many diverse factors to raising the bilingual child.
I think it’s an on-going evolving process no two kids are the same, no circumstances are exactly the same, we have to just do what we can do with the situation/time/energy we have in the moment.
My eldest is now 18 and her English is fabulous, but it wasn’t always, it’s been a work in progress, with peaks and troughs. There were times, particularly when she first started Japanese elementary school and her J vocab took off exponentially that I was despairing of my methods. That said her English ability now is, I think in part to do with the early years, the reading, the trips home, the homework etc but also that was all consolidated by 3 years of grammar instruction in JHS plus now almost 3 years if HS with an intensive English programme.
DD2′s is heading the same was….it’s all good, but bring on the boys. DS1, has zero interest in English, I *usually* speak English to him, but not always, he understands most of what I say but not all, he loathes anything to do with English and won’t aknowledge my English at all outside of the house, barely reads and writes, then we went overseas for a month last year and by the second week all his gears had shifted and he was producing a ( for him) phenomenal amount of English but when we came home he immediately dumped it out of his head and went back to 99% Japanese.
DS2, likes English, and speaks half and half to me, but reads and writes really well but not at grade level.
The boys were later speakers, I also took the easy road and went with Japanese a lot, because the elder one is pretty * difficult* and the younger one’s hearing impaired, plus I was so busy with four kids and tired blah blah blah, I feel now I should have tried harder, but I didn’t, I couldn’t at the time and now it is what it is. Aslo they went to J daycare from age one and have had waaay fewer trips out of the country compared to their sisters.
So, in conclusion of this little essay
New York Times article on the value of babbling:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/12/health/12klass.html
I am a bit late coming into this, but it has been so interesting to read about everyone’s experiences with bilingualism.
Before K was born, I was very worried about what “method” we should use to ensure her bilingualism (that would included a strong base in the minor language, ie English) . At that stage, DH and I spoke basically japanese only to each other, even though both myself and DH are esentially bilingual. But as a natural progression after K was born and I was using English with her, we now talk to each other in a mix of E and J. I know that many people say that you shouldn’t mix up the languages, but that is how we talk to each other, and so far it seems to not cause any problems for K.
I guess things we try to do to encourage her English are reading (when she was little we started off reading books in both Japanese and English, now it tends to be only English books), skyping my parents and make visits home to see family a priority each year, and we are lucky to have an English playgroup and friends from there to play with in English.
Regarding TV/DVDs, we watch programs in both languages, but always in the original language….
In our house it is just being natural to talk both languages in the same conversation, switch between the two, choose a word from one language at a specific time, repeat the same thing in the other language etc etc and I kinda hope that this will encourage K (and later on L) to be interested in both languages at the same time. That said, I DO make the effort to talk English 99% of the time when it is just K and I, but I will switch to Japanese when we are talking with Japanese people. I don’t want to hide the fact that I speak Japanese, rather I want her to realise it and grab her interest!! DH and I are both semi-liguistic-freaks and love learning new languages ourselves, so we hope that our love for languages will also rub off on K (who can now count 1-10 in English, Japanese and Spanish (and 1-5 in Chinese), and say greetings in all those too, as well as in Balinese, lol!)
As an aside, I think we are going to wait to put K into preschool, so she will go for 2-years, not 3, as I would like to have just that extra year at home with her to build up her English language base before the Japanese “takes over”. I can imagine that once she gets into school we will have to be more vigilant with English exposure….so I guess the hard work starts from now???!!!?
Sorry for the long and probably non-coherent comment…….
Wow….the baby years were so long ago — mine are now 15, 13 and 8.
I’ve always spoken only English to them, and my husband has always spoken only Japanese. I think all three are bilingual when it comes to speaking, but their overall acedemic proficiency (reading, writing, etc.) is stronger in English at this point in time.
TV is good, too. I used to have a rule, they could watch as much TV as they wanted….in English only. Cartoon Network was like background noise in our house, so they could hear English voices in the background all the time. This probably wouldn’t work for all families (it would probably drive some people nuts), but I believe it worked for ours.
Hehehe, try being a Spanish speaker in Russia. Spanish for kids is next to impossible to find here. At least Japan has a good base with English, not to mention most of the internet is in English – so as long as you persevere int he early stages of Noah’s life, later on it should be plain sailing. For me however… not that easy.
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Hi Lulu,
got here through the bilingual carnival, forgive me is what I am about to say has already been mentioned but I don’t have enough time RIGHT NOW to read all the comments.
We are an Ita-Eng family in UK, doing OPOL, some Montessori as and when and like you did a lot of signing with our son, now 3 1/4. Italian is my language and the minority one, like in your situation hubby’s Italian is quite weak but improving with his son. I just wanted to reassure you as you seem to be doing exactly what we did at that age and now, a few years down the line here’s were we are at:
S. started signing at around 14 months.
S. started speaking around 20 months.
At 23 months he had about 50 words, without counting repetitions in the two languages and around 200 signs.
At about 30 months he would translate between us: if I asked something in Italian, he would go to Daddy and say “Mamma says….” and always get it correct.
At 34 months we went for a month in Italy, were he refused to speak Italian, in spite of having been at the speaking in 5-7 words sentences in Eng and linking 2-3 words in Ita. Upon return however his Italian language production exploded, skipped all the stages in between and just started talking to me in Italian, in complete sentences, at the same level of skill as in English, with correct grammatical constructs, us of pronouns, adverbs and verb tenses.
Around 36 months he started making quite a few statements about being bilingual (sometimes “I’m bilingual”, sometimes “Io sono bilingue”, sometimes “I’m bilinguish”!) Tracking who was bilingual (we have a few bilingual families around, but the minority languages are very varied, not many other italians at all), including noting that Daddy is “almost” bilingual, and who isn’t.
At 38 months, i.e. a few weeks ago, during bedtime snuggles we had the following conversation:
Me: Sei il mio cucciolo coccolo tu? (Are you my cuddly cub?)
S.: No, sono il tuo salsicciotto bilingue! (No, I’m your bilingual sausage!) Tu sei Mamma salsicciotto e he is Daddy sausage
Three notes: we have been draconian with OPOL, i.e. even in a playgroup situation with other people around, I will speak EXCLUSIVELY Italian, even if it singles me out. I explain what I am trying to do and usually this calls for (at least to my face) congratulations, when it doesn’t I’ll resign myself to be the odd one out; when signing to help bridge the languages we would use always the same word in each language associated with the same sign, and we believe this helped a lot, obviously you will need some buy in from your hubby. Finally a note on timings: I got a lot of flack from my family, used to two very talkative girls eager to communicate, about how long it was taking S. to start talking. HOWEVER, as well as being a bit slower with communication as all boys, he was in fact concentrating on his gross motor skills first: he was desperate to be on the go, and the little terror was walking at 11 months, running at 13, climbing up rung ladders at 14. Then his lordship was satisfied with his mobility and deigned himself to get interested in communicating…. each child will go through intense phases of wanting to learn specific skills (another Montessori idea), so rather than worrying about how late Noah may be at speaking, maybe you could watch to see what he is focussing on learning RIGHT NOW?
Hope this helps