I am not sure we have been doing anything lately that could be considered blogworthy. Just going about our everyday lives and not a lot of exciting stuff is happening.
We still have a few concerns about Noah and his development- Shun & I are both concerned but I think for now we are going with the fact he has had a lot of changes this year and hoping that he will grow out of it.
If not then we will raise our concerns again {speech issue or possible ASD} at his 2 year check- hard to believe he will be 2 in just over 3 months.
He is still not speaking. He says a couple of words, he signs a couple more and he does understand what we say. I am sick of reading things though that say if you talk to your kids and read to them then they will be good speakers and have a great vocabulary. I speak and read a ton with both boys but it has made no difference with Noah. He is still basically non-verbal. Well that is not entirely true- he talks to me but we have no idea what he is saying. He gets his point across through gestures and sounds and the rest is just a guessing game for me.
He will try to repeat things back to me but they don`t sound like the words I have said. He likes me to name things for him though, especially when he is eating, he will pull individual pieces out of his dinner and hold them up for me to tell him what they are. Or crayons or blocks so that I will say the colours for him. He knows most of his colours and shapes {ie, where is the blue star? If I draw stars and circles in different colours while we are drawing} and can recognizes that N and O are from his name {he points out the N & O if I write Shion`s name for example- he realizes they are also in his name} and he likes me to write his name on the paper when he draws or colours.
He has a lot of quirks. Do all toddlers have quirks though? Some of his quirks border a bit on obsessive compulsive…..however I also have some quirks like this myself {as my husband and mother are always pointing out to me!}- for him the purple crayon has to be put away last, same goes for white duplo blocks, he has to close all doors after they open and his left shoe should go on before his right one {This is usually only at our entrance as he knows by the way he sits which one he prefers to have on first I guess}. Loud noises set him off and often result in head banging….this can even happen if we are out- if a dog barks and startles him he will lie on the ground and bang his head against the road. He loves balls- but he likes to throw them out doors or down stairs. So if a delivery man comes for example he will run and get a ball then throw it out the door while I am signing for the package etc…
Overall though he is an extremely smiley & spirited child-most who meet him comment on how “genki” he is- goes 100 miles an hour especially if we are out and about. He has started rythmic classes once a week- since he is not in daycare we thought it would be a good idea for him to have some period each week where he has to try to learn to listen to a teacher and interact with other kids- plus he loves music and dance and musical instruments so it seemed a good fit plus it is so close to our house. Also I will take both boys to play kindergarten once a month- basically a 1.5 hour period with kids aged 2 or maybe 2.5 and younger where they can play in a big room. I guess it is also for mums in the area to get to know each other- we had our first session today. It is free and I guess a good opportunity to suss out the kindy as well to see if that is where we want to send the boys {It is the same kindy Shun & his brother went too} as well as a chance for me to meet some more of the local mothers. The amount of mum`s who said to me today though that they had seen me somewhere or knew Shun or his brother though was amazing- one lady said “Oh , you are Shumpei-kun`s wife. I was friends with Taka in elementary school” {Taka is Shun`s older brother} and one lady said she knew I was living in grandmother`s town house and another said she had seen me taking the boys for a walk around the neighbourhood. I guess we stick out 
DD
Other than rythmic and play kindy we just have English playgroup once a month and I try to take the boys outside for a walk or play in the garden each day and to the local play center once a week. I am still doing some Tot School with Noah too even though I haven`t posted about it in awhile- we have been focusing on “birds” and I will post about it over the weekend sometime maybe.
The last couple of months especially have been amazing to watch as he develops more of a relationship with Shion. If Shion falls asleep downstairs {unlikely when Noah is up and about!} Noah will do the “shush” sign but then move onto dumping blocks on the floor which of course wakes Shion up. If Shion doesn`t have a toy then Noah will often get one for him and if Noah goes to get his own drink bottle from his highchair he will usually reach up to get Shion`s as well to bring it to him, taking the lid off first before putting it in his hands. He will often hug or kiss Shion now unprompted which is also super cute.
I hope we are worrying about nothing with Noah- I hope that the concerns we have will just fade with time and that he will just magically one day start speaking and making sense and stop banging his head agianst stuff or scratching at his own face.
Fingers crossed, hey?
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I am just a twenty something Aussie girl living in Chiba, Japan with my Japanese husband trying to make sense of the crazy Japanese world we live in! We welcomed our first son in December 2009 (Noah) and a second son in January 2011, 2 months premature (Shion). I am working hard at raising them to be confident, bilingual, happy kids!
I hope things are okay with Noah. It sounds like apart from his speech he is developing really well. I have heard that boys often speak later, that bilingual children speak later & that children who sign a lot speak later, so maybe it’s just a combination of that? Fingers crossed.
I think the obsessive thing is totally normal. When our babies were 2-ish one of the mums from my mothers group sent out a group email along the lines of “I think my child has OCD – does anyone else’s toddler do this?” and EVERYONE replied with various obsessions. Ali was terrified of vacuum cleaners and hand dryers and used to have a tantrum if I didn’t put his Weetbix in the bowl the “right” way. Another little kid was mortally afraid of clothes with buttons, and another one wanted to line up all her toys in exactly the same order on the bed every day. They’re all 4 now and none of them seem to have OCD
My mum totally thinks it is because of me as I am obsessive abotu where his toys and books go back and he is the same now. If he finds a stray lego IT HAS TO GO BACK IN THE BOX IMMEDIATELY and he knows where is books are and they are in a similar order and if one is missing he knows {Shun does not put them back in order, he just piles them on top of the shelf which stresses Noah out} .
I think for him it is just something he can control- ie, purple crayon in last. I am hoping it is just more because he hasn`t had a lot of control over what else has happened this year and it just keeps him calmer.
Glad my child is not the only one with OCD like tendencies!
Thanks Suzy!
I think I wrote a post almost just like this about 2 years ago. DS was a late talker. He didn’t say his 1st word until about 18 months and didn’t really start talking until after his 2nd birthday. He also did the headbanging thing, more when he was upset or frustrated though than for noises. I later came to find out that head banging in toddlers is actually pretty common — they do it when they don’t know how to express themselves or their feelings. Once they become verbal it mostly stops.
If working at my school has taught me one thing though, it is that there is a HUGE massive range for normal when it comes to young toddlers. I’d actually say in the baby English class that I do (ages 18m – 3yrs), of the 2 year olds very few of them are actually what I’d call verbal. They range from completely non-verbal (one boy, who was 2 in July, doesn’t even make any consonant sounds, just screeches and vowels, all “aaaaah” and “eeeeeiiyyy” — this is worrisome), to having a smattering of words here and there, to speaking in sentences. You’ll read a lot of mommy board posts of people who have these 11 month olds speaking in sentences and all and while I’m not saying those people are lying, it seems like the 18 month olds who can only say “mama” and “car” are actually a lot more typical in real life, from my experience. The good news is that once they start speaking they usually pick it up very quickly. DS went from being almost nonverbal at about 2 to being a rather talkative 2.5 year old, and by 3 I think he was totally caught up with his peers as far as language (if he was ever behind to begin with).
There are also a couple of truly autistic kids at our school, with varying degrees of severity, and the difference is really obvious. With the kids who have the ASDs you see not just a speech delay, but very little eye contact, very little interaction with others, fixations on certain sounds or sensations, you also see the classic signs — walking on tiptoe, hand flapping, waking in circles, spinning. There are toddler quirks and then there are real problems. We had an autistic kid in our class who would absolutely freak out when the other kids came in from recess because he couldn’t handle the sudden sensory overload — freak out as in full on tantrum, screaming, crying, the works. There was another little girl who, while she could talk, at 3 years old she’d repeat stuff back to you word for word, so if you asked her something like “are those your shoes?” she’d answer back “are those your shoes?”
Noah sounds pretty normal to me. He signs and he has good receptive language, he has a good connection with his brother, so he is aware of others. He can express his needs to you and has a preference for certain things. Toddlers can be a little bit weird at times and they definitely do have their quirks, some of which seem irrational, but there’s a difference between a quirk and a real problem.
Have him evaluated though — I imagine that in Japan they’re probably not quite as quick to label a child as having this or that (that was my main concern about having DS evaluated, although it wasn’t likely to happen in China either, but in the States I think a lot of kids get fixed with a label at a very young age and once you’re a kid with a language delay or an autism spectrum disorder or this or that, I feel it *sometimes* becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophesy. But that’s my own probably someone controversial opinion) at such a young age unless there’s true cause for concern.
We plan to have him evaulated at 2 or a bit after if things are still happening- he does walk on his tiptoes a lot but he has great eye contact and doesn`t do the arm flapping thing when nervous or anything {he does it a bit when excited but I think that is normal}
Thanks for the input. I know I shouldn`t but I always feel glad when someone says “Oh my son didn`t talk til 2 but now he is a real chatterbox” because at least it gives me some hope!
Hope your concerns for Noah are soon alleviated. Jessica’s window on pre-schoolers really does offer valauble insight into the diversity of skills present at that age and I agree that the fact he connects with his brother, getting his brother’s drink etc, shows empathy that is a great sign.
It is annoying when people say if your read to them blah blah they’ll talk! My friend has two boys, 4 and 2.5 , a little older than yours but with the same age difference. Like you, she read up a storm every day, the 4 yr old didn’t really speak until he was 3 and now never shuts up ( in both languages) and the little one hasn’t said a word yet, but he will, when he’s ready. My own sons, were both ‘late’ speakers too.
Hope you get some peace of mind.
Thanks! I hope it is nothing and hope that in a years time we will look back at this and think “Oh we were been silly” …It really does seem that boys seem to talk later than girls.
I am not so sure if the bilingual and signing thing is an issue but it could be. Shion has started to babble and make lots of different sounds and I don`t remember Noah been this verbal at that age but maybe he was. So easy to forget!
please don’t worry. every kids talk at different age. I am a mother of two boys, and at that age they didn’t talk. don’t worry he is going to be fine. he has 2 language in his head and before you know it he will be speaking. just enjoy and relax with your boys. keep doing what you are doing.
Beatriz
Thanks Beatriz! Glad others with boys have had similar issues- thanks for commenting and letting me know that it is probably nothing.
Some good information above. Hub was worried about Shou not talking at age 2 and thought that because he screeched a lot and packed tantrums that he needed to be tested for ASD. I was pretty sure what Shou was doing wasn’t out of the realm of normal 2 year old boy behavior so I compromised and said lets wait till his three – by which time he was talking away and the tantrums seemed to lose some of their randomness.
He’ll surprise you. He’ll say nothing and then suddenly come out with ‘no mummy, the purple one goes in LAST’
I remember you saying Shou was a late speaker- what about Marina & Ryu in comparison? Also- ages ago you wrote about Shou having a bit of a stutter…did that sort itself out? Do you think it was just because of the two languages in his head.
Noah can have massive tantrums too BUT that said because he signs his basic needs it does seem to be more complicated stuff or the fact that he is not getting his own way as opposed to him screaming because he wants a drink, something to eat or to go to sleep. He gestures a lot and points which are good signs I guess as sometimes no pointing can be a sign of an ASD.
Hopefully in a year I will be blogging about ways to make him shut up!
Thanks! Lately he seems like he is trying to have conversations and talk a lot more we just don`t know what he is trying to say.
My nephew wouldn’t speak coherently for the longest time. It made my sister worried sick that he wasn’t as quickly developing as others. Doctors kept telling her that nothing was wrong with him, but because he was a boy they will usually take longer than girls.
At some point (I think when he was three) she finally insisted on getting him checked out properly. Turned out that he had fluids in both of his ears. Which meant he couldn’t hear properly. It’s as if you went swimming and came out of the water with water in your ear, but he could even hear less. So obviously he wouldn’t talk properly because he couldn’t hear things!
They put little pipes into his ears that transported the liquid outside. And then all of a sudden his speech developed really quickly.
I’m not saying that Noah has the same thing. But it might be worth getting him checked. Could be that something is wrong that could be easily fixed and make life easier for all of you.
Yeah I don`t think he has hearing issues since he understand what we say and follows commands and finds things when asked but I will get his ears checked out again properly at his 2 year check. How do they check for that? I ask because the doctor always looks in his ears before immunizations so surely he would of said somethign if something was amiss but perhaps it is a more invasive test?
Glad things worked out for your Nephew!
To me he sounds normal, too, or at the worst, like my older son (haha..) My older son is not *quite* your completely “average” sort of person – at 16 he still has some quirks and he did have some problems in elementary school (with socializing, focus, etc), but has grown out of that and is doing great in school! He has good friends now and seems popular with older girls (age 17 and 18 — eek!) My husband says it’s because he seems like he needs mothering (though he is much taller than them). He’s always been extremely active and has turned out to be very good at sports, dancing and music (making music on the computer, etc.). He was mortally afraid of buttons, like the acquaintance of the PP, but has mostly grown out of that, too!! When younger he could have qualified for an ADHD diagnosis I guess, but we did not take that “diagnosis” path, and he has grown out of most of those types of problems. He still has trouble remembering to write down assignments and/or hand them in, but with some organizational help from me he gets almost all As and Bs. His schoolwork itself is good – math, writing, etc. He was late to talk (and his brother too), but now they both are bilingual and in fact, my older son talks too much sometimes (though it is great that he still will tell me about his day, and sometimes even girls, at age 16). He has always been a little on the immature side, but now I really appreciate that he will sit and play Yu-gi-oh or PSP with his little brother (age 12)! And he is not out trying to do “yoru-asobi” like some of his peers.
By the way, like the PP, I also worked with toddlers and small children for several years, and there was a huge range, as she mentioned. There was only one boy we were really worried about, though. At three, he seemed similar to an 18-mo.-old in terms of behavior and comprehension. Abstract questions like “What’s your name” or “How old are you” (asked in Japanese, his native language) clearly went right over his head – he would just stare blankly with a babylike expression on his face. He could speak/understand about very concrete things like “Sit down for lunch now”, “Stop running!”, and trucks/buses/cars (in a very simple way, as in pointing them out and saying their names). When he was two, he showed me no signs that he could even hear – he wouldn’t acknowledge or turn when called, and I finally knew for sure he could hear when I saw him respond to hearing an ambulance outside. At three he could only eat plain onigiri (with nori was okay), milk, occasionally a bite of weiner or fried potato, and TWO snacks — popcorn and salad sembei. When we tried to give him other snacks at snack-time (chocolate, gummies, even other kinds of senbei) he just stared and wouldn’t try it – but not in that “normal but stubborn 3-year-old” way – just in this really blank way.
Btw, what you read about “if you talk to your kids and read to them then they will be good speakers and have a great vocabulary”, I don’t know what those books actually said, but if they implied that it would be true by age 2 or 3 then they were dead wrong. Kids at that age are still following their little “individual developmental path” and some kids just do the talking later than others, no matter what. It should be true over the long run, though. And especially — if you read to them and manage to get *them* into reading through that, then they will grow up to have much better vocabularies than their peers who don’t read. My kids are both readers, and we have seen this in action (in English, as that is their language for reading for pleasure – it doesn’t affect my 2nd son’s Japanese vocabulary of course, and he goes to school in Japanese so he does about as well as peers who don’t read much, in his schoolwork).
To me, honestly, Noah sounds normal and fine, even if spirited, active and quirky. Those traits can be molded and end up being positive things. I would say to make those various playgroup times a very high priority, and give very serious consideration to sending him to the local kindergarten where your family already has ties! All the better for him if he has known those kids since before entering kindergarten!
Thank you for your comment. Noah will sit and “read” his story books by himself so I am hoping he will continue to be a reader as he grows and of course hope Shion will follow after him. I LOVE books and it is one thing I definitely wanted to instill in my kids.
What ended up happening with the boy you mentioned? Noah is not quite that bad but sometimes I really do wonder, hence this post. He also will not try food he doesn`t recognize…dinner is usually okay if it has rice in it as he will eat anything with rice or pasta usually {but not spaghetti or noodles}. We are having big issues with fruit right now- as obviously different things are in season. Last summer he liked peach and when we were home over Christmas too- this summer, he didn`t “recognize” it so wouldn`t even try it.
I am glad that your older son doesn`t have any issues now- hopefully these are all things Noah will grow out of too- or at the very least not cause him any stress in the future.
Loads of people have weighed in on the talking thing… So the only thing I will say is the family whose child I help care for now, who is 2 and a half, didn’t talk until after his second birthday.
On the food thing, my youngest brother went thru a phase of a few years where he would not try new foods and he had to eat everything with ketchup. He eventually grew out of it. Just keep trying!
Best of luck!
I don’t know what ended up happening with that boy, because the school I worked at then went belly-up when he was about 3, and I haven’t seen him since. But to me Noah already sounds way more advanced *now* than that boy was at 3!! At 3, he really did seem like an 18-mo.-old to me. I would praise him for copying me in clapping his hands and then think “Wait, 1-yr.-olds do that… ”
I hope it’s working out hun.
Thanks Fiona. I read through the info you sent me and it has been helpful too- appreciate it! Nice to get feedback from someone in the speech pathology field!
I hope it passes for you Lulu – I have very little actual experience (!) but a good friend of mine has two boys, and the oldest didn’t talk at all until after he was 3.
Thanks MissusB. Hoping Noah is just a late talker and nothing more.
The fact that he CAN say some words is a good sign. It means that he can talk, and will probably just talk when he`s ready. I teach Noah`s age group at work and I have a couple of kids that only say a few words. He sounds on track to me. There is only one kid in my class that uses grunts and squeals to communicate and we had to recommend to his mom to get him checked now that he has turned 2. If you don`t see signs of improvement, ask about it at the 2 year check and see what they say. They will be able to point you in the right direction. Keep doing what you`re doing!
Lu Lu, let Noah get on with it, the comments from all your blog friends are so positive, you need to take it on board and I can tell you now, that by the time I see my beautiful grandson in March…. he won’t shut up. I am so looking forward to that.
I’m adding to the “bilingual babies talk later” – when we were going through the speech path stuff with Jonathan, we mentioned we spoke Japanese and English to him and that he didn’t necessarily speak clear words and she said that too. But definitely talk about your concerns at his next check up
Thinking of you xx
I think there’s lots of good advice above here. Like many have said, Noah sounds pretty normal. James didn’t speak properly until after his 2nd birthday. I remember when Alexa was a baby and James was pretty much non-verbal except for babbling and random words like “car”. He suddenly started stringing words together – “No, baby down!” was perhaps a big landmark in his speech development. I think once Noah turns three he’ll have more to say and will talk in his own time. I think two year olds don’t say much despite what the textbooks try to make you believe.