First photo is Shion taken in December eating spinach, cheese and mushroom spaghetti. Second photo is Noah eating mango in Australia the December before. They are about the same age in each photo.
I want to talk table manners. Do your kids have any?
My kids are both at the age where they do not want anyone to “feed” them. They want to do it themselves and that is fine. Noah is pretty good about trying to use his fork or spoon. They are both messy. I can accept that. They are 2 & 1 and they are very very messy eaters. Shion will tolerate getting spoon fed a yogurt. I have tried letting him hold the spoon himself but he just shakes off the yogurt before chewing on the spoon. He has no interest in trying to spoon feed himself which is why I just let him eat with his hands {except yogurt or soup}
Noah also rushes to eat and puts too much in his mouth at a time. He also can not drink from a cup without help {open cup} and purposely lets it run all over him- hence it being easier to leave a straw cup out for him to use most of the time. I will give him a cup with water in it at meal times sometimes but only because he has a bib on that can “catch” all that he spills. Usually if Noah has a soup I mix rice in with his so that it is easier for him to “spoon” instead of trying to drink it.
The other issue I have with both boys is throwing food. Shion will dump something on the floor on purpose if he is done with it and wants something else {I just put a little on his tray in front of him- not the whole plate as he will just dump it all out…and not necessarily on his tray}- also because he knows I will pick it up and so sometimes it is a game.. Noah will throw his whole plate, with food still in it, on the floor if he is done.
No matter how many times I try to say in a calm voice. Food is for eating, we do not throw food at others or on the floor. Noah will push his plate all the way across the others side of the table until it hits Shion {or misses Shion and goes on the floor}.
Noah has started trying to using trainer chopsticks this week. He likes using them but gets frustrated still which is why I always put a spoon or fork out with his meals still so he can use them if he wants.
I am okay with cleaning up messes after dinner- considering the ages and the fact they feed themselves I know there will be mess- it is inevitable- and that is fine but we do need to start working on more appropriate table manners including trying to stop the food throwing {and taking it away works for Shion but not Noah- Noah only throws food when he doesn`t want it anymore so taking it away is what he wants but often before I can take it away he throws it. He also throws his food in frustration.}
Any advice for working on table manners and eating habits with kids this age?
My kids are the kind of kids I definitely can`t take out to eat 
We do take them out though and I have to say Noah is usually better at eating when we are out than staying in but still needs a lot of work.
Popularity: 6% [?]
I am just a twenty something Aussie girl living in Chiba, Japan with my Japanese husband trying to make sense of the crazy Japanese world we live in! We welcomed our first son in December 2009 (Noah) and a second son in January 2011, 2 months premature (Shion). I am working hard at raising them to be confident, bilingual, happy kids!
all mine were worse at the throwing food when they were in a highchair with appealing spaces on all sides. Eating at the low table has helped this but it is very easy for them to just get up and do shit when they should be eating. The dining room table is good because the chairs are higher and there are no toys in that room and when we all sit down we are there to eat. So definitely the ‘place’ they eat affects how they all eat.
They also usually get one of those small ice-creams (that you get about 12 in a box and they’re gone in two bites) after dinner and bath and that gets taken away if they don’t eat all their food. Unfortunately Marina is a stubborn little b**** like her mother so she would rather forgo the ice-cream than eat something on her plate that she doesn’t want. But bribery works very well with Shou and Ryu.
And lastly, cause I’m on a roll it seems, 9 times out of 10 they will eat a lot better if I am sitting down eating with them. If they start playing too much their dinner gets taken off them and I ignore them. If they sit down and ask for it back I’ll give it to them. The second time it gets thrown out. This doesn’t happen very often though.
And those photos are identical. Man they look the same!! Good luck Lulu. I hate picking up food meal time after meal time. It gets better though
Noah just sits on a booster now and can technically get up and down when he wants and Shion is in the highchair. We have no low tables {but when we have eaten with friends at their houses my kids go nuts- Shion grabbing at anything and everything and Noah running around like a mad man}
They both have yogurt after dinner most nights- If I thought Noah would eat more if I told him he couldn`t have yogurt I would probably try it but he doesn`t drink milk as it is so it would be like cutting off my nose to spite my face. Usually I say “Do you want yogurt now? Okay then eat a couple more bites” and he does.
Tonight I got up to get something from the fridge and he picked up his plate of pasta and threw it on the floor. Followed by the fork. Before he got his yogurt he had get down and clean it up with tissues and then I wiped up the floor.
Such a mess!
Haha, if you find out, let me know!! Isabelle will feed herself small bite-sized pieces fine, and now that we have fiiiiiiiinally got a tooth through, she’ll theoretically be able to start chewing on more by herself!
Jonathan is the same as Noah – uses a spoon or fork fairly well, but uses his hand to get food in faster. Speed is more important than manners for him!! We’ve just started cracking down on it more. Pretending to take away his meal gets a quick-smart response! Thankfully he doesn’t really throw food. Crumbs stuck to his hands maybe, but no handfuls. When we eat out, we just tidy up our table/floor to a less-bombsite-looking state!
Taking away his meal sometimes works but other times it doesn`t {as he thinks – “great don`t have to eat that anymore. Give me the yogurt” . I remind him a lot “Noah, use your spoon” and that helps. I don`t really mind if he eats with his hands or his utensils or if he spills but I do mind the food throwing. Hoping it passes with time.
Leilah is surprisingly good with table manners. She uses her fork/spoon as much as she can but there is obviously times when she just can’t manage it. So she will use her fingers. She also has the habit of trying to pick cherrios out of her milk with her fingers instead of spoon. We have soup a lot so she is actually really good at using her spoon for that. Obviously some gets on her bib (which means she ALWAYS wears a bib eating soup) though…
She’s not a thrower – when she is done she just pushes the plate closer to me and says, ‘done’. We get a lot of mess though when I try to help her and she decides she doesn’t want my help – then the food goes everywhere…
At the moment because of her age I am just glad she eats. I am going to work on proper table manners etc once she gets that little bit older!!
I don`t even bother trying to help Noah eat. He prefers to do it himself and that is fine but if I try to help Shion I get a similar response to what you have with Leilah. MORE MESS!
You are lucky Leilah is such a good eater. I think Shion, touch wood, will be more like her and not as like his ultra picky brother
I can dream!
Hmm… I don’t think you can really INSTALL manners in a kid this early. Some will listen, some won’t. Missha is a tidy eater, she uses a fork or spoon, and will only occasionally spill a bit so she doesn’t wear a bib anymore. But if there’s something on her dish she doesn’t want (carrots, tomatos, something strange to her, etc) she’ll pick it up with her hand and hand it to me, drop it on the floor or put it on her table edge.
I tell her over and over “JUST LEAVE IT THERE. NO EAT, OKAY. DON’T TOUCH” but she still always does it. Up until she was 2ish she would throw her plate when she was done too but she’s stopped. I just repeat what I want her to do, she’ll figure it out eventually. Trying to take away dessert or privileges or something she can’t make the connection yet so I don’t bother.
=D
Yeah it is definitely more the throwing I have issues with. Both of my kids definitely NEED bibs! Even if they ate nicely with forks and spoons they would still need bibs. Even with the bibs they are a mess at the end of meals- often needing changes of clothes after lunch! lol!
I do repeat what i want. A lot. But Noah just laughs. Shion I don`t mind so much- Noah went through that stage and stopped but has now started throwing entire plates of food again to the point where I want to start giving him one piece of something at a time or one spoonful into his bowl and once he eats it putting another spoonful in. I tried this though and he refused to eat anything because I wasn`t giving it all to him.
Strangely if there is somethign he doesn`t want to eat he will just leave it on the plate or offer it to me to eat. Or if he has seen Shion eat it before he will give it to me and say “Shion`s?”{mini tomatoes, cucumber etc- I always include something I know he probably won`t eat with his lunch and sometimes dinner. He will often put it to his lips if I tell him to try it thankfully but I don`t mind if he doesn`t eat it. Well not really}
I guess they will eventually eat neater. Right? RIGHT?
Ash has always been a really tidy eater we were lucky because I’m totally OCD about cleaning up bits of food… But if Noah keeps throwing the plate I’d take it off him straight away and give him individual bits, if he refuses to eat them then he’s not hungry enough. I know you want him to eat but if he’s hungry enough he’ll take the individual bits or learn to stop throwing so he can get his whole plate. Easier said than done I know, it must be super messy with two of them at the same time!
To be fair Laura I don’t think anyone having their photo taken eating a mango should be accountable, I look like that when I tuck into mango too,
Haha, I totally agree with your mum there about the mango. They arent a food you can eat without making a mess, lol
Can’t help much with the mess issues, Ebi-kun wasn’t that messy, usual for his age. A lot of it at that age is sensory, they are discovering how things feel. We did go through a stage of dropping stuff on the floor – fun game or not depending if you were dropping or picking up, it was just a stage and we got through it. I used to make him clean it up (often resulted in a bigger mess but it was the principle I was getting at). At 6 he still manages to get yoghurt in his ear when eats that!
Oh yes, and you won the giveaway, can you drop me a line to sort out the prize?
Pumpkin boy throws the sippy cup ( or rather sippy bottle, he can do that now by himself, that itself is just great) when he is done. Or rather then throwing whipes it from the table.
He decides he wants the spoon himself the one meal I have some rather liquid thingy with fish in it for him. I do not really like messy eating but can tolerate it mos of the time – but I do not want fishy spots everywhere, smelling until I descover them at the most remote places.
And he drops food when done. Preffered target: the baby in the low chair.
No tips at the moment but lots of sympathy!
Ahh the joys of feeding young ones. H is like Shion, he wants to feed himself and when he’s done he just chucks it on the floor..haha…and he also takes mouthfuls of water from his sippy cup but doesn’t swallow, instead letting it all roll out his mouth down his front. It’s soooo messy. H loves chewing on the spoon after he’s finished eating too.
Haha… I can’t even remember this issue, so I guess it just got sorted out by itself eventually!!
One thing I do clearly remember, though, is that when my big son was around 3 and 1/2, he had a bad habit of using his shirt and MY SHIRT as a big cleaning towel, when he had food on his hands. That caused me some distress. But one day during our trip to L.A., I decided that I had really had it, and would not put up with it anymore. He must have sensed my increased resolve in telling him no, because the problem was gone within another day or so! Note that he was 3 and 1/2, though, old enough to reason and listen!! I should have never let him get away with it. Again, though, it is just a small thing in the grand scheme of things, barely remembered now as an anecdote. The more memorable issue for me is getting them to eat a reasonable amount at every meal, no matter what the meal is. This took a couple of years of work.