Until I had my children I had never heard of the term “Irish twins” – it is kind of a derogatory term referring to two children born to the same mother within one year. My children are not actually Irish twins as they are about 12.5 months apart but somehow I don`t think those 2-3 weeks makes THAT much difference.
I am finally at the point where it is not so hard. My children enjoy each others company and while It seems I am constantly having to break up toy squabbles, stop pushing/climbing/shoving/biting and picking up food scraps that have dropped to the floor it is not as crazy as it once was- although it is crazy in some other aspects. Like taking them out, together, for a day, by myself. Basically eating a meal outside the house is insane unless Shun is with me.
I am also so prepared most of the time I should of been a girl scout- I do not leave the house without things for them to do, change of shirts {now one is enough- in case ONE of them does something- they can pretty much wear the same size}, tons of snacks and a good mood. I mean if I leave the house with them and I am in a bad mood- well game over. That is a disaster waiting to happen!
Today we ran errands. Shion screamed at one point because he wanted out of the pram. Noah screamed because he wanted to watch more than the 4 trains we had already stopped to watch. Oh and they both screamed for food and drinks which LUCKILY I had.
A friend said to me several months back that she thought having a second child would make things twice as hard but wishes someone had told her that it would be so much harder than that {Her 2nd son was 2 months old at the time and her older son is the same age as Noah, so 2 years apart}. I thought that was a good analogy. Adding a second child into the mix does make things harder – I had never really thought about whether it was two times more difficult or more than that but it is hard.
I have two toddlers now so we do have our fair share of tears and tantrums but there are good things to having children close in age. Things were already somewhat child proofed, they enjoy similar things, share nap and bedtime, we didn`t have choking hazards lying around and because my kids were born in the same season Shion has been able to get a fair bit of use out of clothes that first belonged to Noah.
While having my children THIS close in age was not a deliberate thing, and while I am not sure I would of done it this way all over again, there is light at the end of the tunnel and I think that having them so close is a blessing {maybe somewhat in disguise at first}. Would I recommend it? If you asked me a year ago I might not have said yes but now I definitely would!
My almost Irish twins…
Do you have more than one child? How many years/months are they apart? Was it easier or harder than you thought to add another child into the mix?
ps: My father came from an Irish/German Catholic family. He has Irish twins either side of his birthday 
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I am just a twenty something Aussie girl living in Chiba, Japan with my Japanese husband trying to find my way in a country that is not my own! We welcomed our first son in December 2009 (Noah) and a second son {Shion} in January 2011- yes they are just over 12 months apart so life is a little insane with two toddlers underfoot. I am working hard at raising them to be curious, confident, bilingual and happy kids.
I have never heard the term “Irish Twins” before. I knew two boys growing up who were 11 months apart in age. They were always very close and the best of friends so I am sure your boys will be similar to them. I have always admired you though as two babies so close together must have been really tough!!
I find myself faced with the opposite issue. Even if I were to get pregnant the day after our wedding (I don’t want to get pregnant before for various reasons) Joey will be 8 by the time any future babies are born. Given my new job situation it is more likely that I wouldn’t want to think about another baby until this time next year which means he will be 9/nearly 9 by the time the baby is born. That is a HUGE age difference and I can’t help but think that it will make things difficult in a very different way to what you have experienced!! (Not least because I have totally forgotten how to look after teeny babies!!) I guess we shall just have to see how the next couple of years pan out!!
Oh, does Mal definitely want another bub? I know you do but have had your reservations. Can`t wait to see what you end up deciding. Sometimes an older age gap is good because Joey will be at an age where he can HELP with so much with a baby and also have the reasoning skills not to get as jealous as say a toddler would.
My dad also came from an Irish family and was one of 12 children. I’m sure there are some Irish twins in there too.
It’s funny that you say they wear the same clothes because I have completely abandoned the baby clothes and dress my (rather large) 8 month old in 2 year old clothes along with his brother. It works suprisingly well
Ha, yes, plus easier on the husbands! Shun was always getting confused about whose clothes are whose so putting them in the same size is definitely HELPFUL for him. He still dresses them in some weird combinations sometimes if he has to choose the clothes as well!
I don’t think there is any “perfect” age gap – my two are 3 years apart, and while it was easier at the beginning – only one in nappies, and no need for the twin pram, and Ali was old enough to understand he needed to wait if I was feeding the baby – I think it will be a long time before they play together and it means we end up with almost twice as much “stuff” – we have four year old toys and baby toys (although the baby thinks she is four, and this causes problems too, when she wrecks lego masterpieces etc.)
Having said that, for me I reckon it was only about 1.5 times as much work having two children as one. I remember when Milla was born thinking “how did I ever think I was busy when I only had a baby?” because it was Ali who needed to be entertained and have snacks prepared etc., Milla just fed and napped. I think because I was already in the routine of hanging out with a child, going to playgroup and the park etc. it wasn’t much of a transition to go from one to two, because Milla just slotted in. But when I had my first baby it was a huge adjustment to go from being fairly selfish and able to do whatever I liked to spending all day looking after a tiny person.
I totally agree with what you said about the baby months been easier than the impending toddlerdom that Noah was heading into when Shion was born- he needed so much MORE than Shion as Shion was happy to sit in his bouncer, be fed and sleep!!!
I think there is no perfect age gap either- I think there will always be a time when having 2 or more kids is hard at certain ages.
My older two are 14 months apart and I was BUSY! But when the younger one turned two, everything slowed down and having two kids near the same age was a benefit. As you said, they were interested in the same activities, wore the same clothes and their schedule was the same. I wouldn’t have planned it this way but it worked out really well!
This is exactly how I am feeling now that Shion is getting a bit older! Noah is very pushy though and Shion still mouths everything but if those are our only real issues when they play together I think we are doing pretty well!!!
Oooh I haven’t heard that term before.
My niece and nephew ACT like that sometimes.
Oh, how many years are they apart? I think all kids go through difficult stages!!!
Need to get back into commenting!
I’ve actually heard the term as my good friends growing up were two sisters… not sure how many months apart but they ended up in the same school year! They always played together, had all the same toys and friends. I was jealous, having to let my 4.5year younger sister tag along with us. Hehe. I’m sure Noah and Shion will have alot of fun together growing up!
I think it depends more on temperament than distance to be honest. Missha and Hyugo are 2 years 2 months apart, but Hyugo is SUCH a good baby… I’m actually finding it easier with two kids than one! Missha spends alot of time playing and trying to amuse Hyugo which keeps her busy and him from crying giving me extra me time! Only one kid in diapers, they both eat well, both sleep through the night… I expected it to be harder. Guess luck struck me yet again!
Khea you are always a glass half full type of person though so it is no wonder that you cope so well with two kiddos. You still plan to have more though as well right?
My kids tend to go through so many temperament changes during each day that there are certain times it is easy and other times that it is harder. THey both really need naps- without them we ALL have breakdowns!
I put off having a second child for so long because i found the first one so hard (surely compounded by the fact we moved countries and then states all before she was 8 months old). And I find two easier. SO much easier than one. They are both girls. The 3.5 year old has a real mothery instinct, loves her sister, and the baby is truly amused by her big sister… My Mr travels very frequently and even then it’s tiring but not too hard.
Interesting how some people find having 2 easier than 1. It is definitely not easier for me but that said I only experienced having 1 for a year before adding in a second.
Both of mine were relatively easy babies- good sleepers, eaters etc for awhile at least. Noah got more difficult around 6 months in that he wanted to be entertained constantly and Shion too I guess as he started to have a lot of sleep issues. I have no idea how thing will pan out as they are both so stubborn…not sure where they get that from ? LOL
Due to being the first of four children with a big gap between my ‘brother’ and I and ‘the boys’ (I was 2 when my first brother was born and then 10 and 12 when #3 and #4 were born), my husband and I decided we wanted to have our babies close and would have had 12 months if we’d not had a miscarriage. Instead, we ended up with 15.5 months between the girls and then 23 months between #2 and #3. For us, I think it’s perfect. Busy and so very hard at the start but they’re at such a great stage now. Although, I have to admit to being quite nervous about the onset of the teen years…
We are still debating whether we will have a 3rd or not. I don`t think we will for space reasons, financial reasons {ie, much more expensive to travel internationally when you add more kids to the mix!} and because my chances of having another premature birth are quite high and while Shion is doing fantastic now it was such a scary start to his life. If we do decide to have a 3rd then we might wait a little bit longer and I would need to be monitered pretty closely. I am finding myself getting a little clucky again lately but not sure if that is because so many friends have given birth again recently and I have been enjoying quite a lot of newborn snuggles!!!
Busy and hard at the start is right- similar to you though it is getting easier now!
I’m not really seeing an ‘analogy’, but I agree with Suzy that there isn’t really a ‘perfect’ age-gap, it just is what it is and we all do our best. There are plusses to having kids both closer together and wider spaced and then it depends on the child’s personality etc, age of the mother, so many variables.
You have 2 close together, then a gap, then 2 close together again. I think in your case the fact you had 2 girls followed by 2 boys would of been good, no?
Sorry the analogy was comparing motherhood with 1 child to motherhood with 2 or more children. You would think it would be twice as hard but some find it even harder and others find it easier. Perhaps I used the term incorrectly?!
I agree that for some the children`s personalities plays a big role! If you have a super clingy older sibling and bring home a new sibling then it would be super hard.
Lulu, I had 1 then a gap, then the other other 3 quite close together. Foolishly though the boys are 2 school years apart cos 1 is near the end of the school year and the other near the beginning. Better planning next time.
and I think it would have been ‘better’ to have had the boys first.
Lol, shame you couldn`t have managed the boys first with just 1 school year apart then the girls huh? Interesting that you think having the boys first would be better. Why?
I was thinking two the same sex close together is good because they can use lot of the same things although I suppose girls like to play with the same things as boys and vice versa, just depends on the children. My boys love to play “kitchen” but my DH thinks this is girly where as I think it is fine.
I have two boys, 4 and a 1/2 years apart. We didn’t originally plan for them to be so far apart, but with the international move when my older one was 3, it turned out that way! Ours have always played well together. Big one will be leaving home for college in a year and a bit, if things go as planned. Little one is looking forward to it, somewhat, but I wonder how he’ll really take it when the novelty wears off!! Ours turned out very similar in their tastes (and big brother is immature for his age, but little brother is mature for his age, which works well except those times when the maturity gap overshoots too much, and little brother says scoffingly, “nisaiji mitai..” @.@)!!!
My sister now has 8 kids (blended family) and one *big* factor in her doing so well with so many has been her oldest, a very nice and responsible girl who has loved mothering her little brothers, ever since she was small! I remember my sister telling me that her daughter had changed the baby’s diaper and given him a bottle, “So Mommy can sleep a bit more” when she was about 6 or 7!! Now she’s 15 and such a big help, still.
I was put off having more at first because mine were both really active “runners” and I had to hold their hands or keep my eyes on them every single second up til age 4 or 5. By the time they got a little easier, I was too used to my non-pregnancy body and didn’t want to start all over again!! I’ve always been happy with two.
I forgot to answer the main question… I guess adding a second child was about what I expected. Actually a bit easier, since little brother stayed in one place until after he turned one.
I was expecting to be chasing after him from 7 months, like big brother, but he turned out not to be too bothered about moving around and getting at things, at first.
My Almost Irish twins are 14 mos apart. I planned it that way. My sister’s kids are 13.5 mos apart-not planned.
I forget where I first heard the term-but it was years ago.
I’m really happy having 2 close in age. It made most things easier. Sure pushing that double stroller and carrying a diaper bag around for 3 years was a drag but when it was over it was over.
Lat month I attended my last elementary school sports day. Hurray for that! I know parents who just finished with 1 kid and have to do the whole 6 years again with child #2. 12 years of sports days- I just wouldn’t have the energy.
Ideally I would have liked to have 2 kids, then a 3-4 year break and 2 more.
Aw wrote a long answer but it was rejected by your spam filter and then got lost in cyber space!! The gist; I expected two under two to be much harder than it was. The first few months were rough, but once DD got to 11 months and DS was 2yrs 4mths I think, things got a lot easier. Now with DD 19 months and DS having just turned 3 they are the best of buds and play together.
And HaHa on the Irish twins – I’d never heard that but I can totally understand how it was derived. Know plenty of “irish twins” in Ireland!!