Noah is having a tough time falling asleep.
He has always been my champion sleeper. Usually a great napper, slept through from 7 months or so and was ready for bed by 7pm most nights and would sleep 11 or more hours overnight.
Last week he had a 40.1 fever {we are not sure what it was caused by. Probably a virus} and it went on for a little less than 24 hours. I am not sure if it is related but since then he has gotten upset everytime he has had to have a nap or go to bed at night. I don`t push the nap issue everyday and if we are out and about and he doesn`t sleep then I just put him to bed early and if he falls asleep in the car or pram then I let him sleep until we get to where we are going and it is not a big issue. I will miss it when he stops napping for good but I also see that it could be a good time for just the two of us to have some time together although I think 2.5 is a little young to give up naps altogether. Some nights he doesn`t fall asleep straight away- sometimes he will be awake for up to 45 minutes talking to himself, moving around, singing etc but he almost never cries or screams out for me or anyone. Until recently that is.
Night times are a giant battle though. I put the boys to bed. I lay Shion down first, say goodnight and tell Noah to go get into his bed in the next room. I pat Shion for a couple of secs and leave the room. I go next door to Noah and he lays down, I make sure he has his lovies, and the cover up {and aircon off. He is a particular child!} and I say something about our day remind him or something fun we did or tell him something fun that will be happening the next dayand that it is night time now and time for sleep and remind him that Shion is next door trying to go to sleep so we have to be quiet. I tell him I am going to go in a second, pat his back and then go to leave the room.
He is almost always standing up in bed and screaming as soon as I leave the room. This is a child that when he has nightmares and I go to comfort him gives me a hug and usually says “bye bye mama” and lies back in bed himself. He has never wanted me to stay with him to go to sleep and has never much enjoyed been held to go to sleep- even as a newborn he preferred to be laid down and patted.
I leave for 1-2 minutes and go back. I lay him back down, sit down on the floor, pat him and explain again that it is bedtime and that Shion is also trying to go to sleep. I ask him if something is wrong and tell him that I will see him in the morning and try to leave again.
This can go on for 1 to 1.5 hours. I leave. He screams. I go back. I leave. He screams. etc
I have never really been able to do cry it out with either boy. I did controlled crying with both at different times but even that made me cry or want to cry myself. I tended to go and pat them in their beds until they were really sleepy and then try to leave although from memory Noah never had any issues, it was just Shion {and in his case Noah was also trying to go to sleep or already asleep so keeping him quiet to a certain extent was a necessity.
I know that many of the readers oft his blog co-sleep and while I completely respect that {and Shion will still sometimes come into bed with us. Noah, when he comes into bed with us never goes back to sleep and same with me staying in his room until he falls asleep has yet to work} we do not co-sleep and don`t plan to start especially as Noah has slept in his own space for almost all of his 2.5 years. I also know that sleep regression is completely normal for children his age.
Doesn`t mean it is not exhausting though!
Did your children have sleep regression? What did you do?
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I am just a twenty something Aussie girl living in Chiba, Japan with my Japanese husband trying to find my way in a country that is not my own! We welcomed our first son in December 2009 (Noah) and a second son {Shion} in January 2011- yes they are just over 12 months apart so life is a little insane with two toddlers underfoot. I am working hard at raising them to be curious, confident, bilingual and happy kids.
Yup, Alex did. Still does. Tries to make me stay in his bedroom with him until he falls asleep. Tries to come into my bed in the early morning hours and sleep with us. When he was an infant he went to bed so easily and would be asleep for the rest of the night. Then one night suddenly I had to be in there. So I bought him his “special spiderman bed” and I usually read him a longer story (Lately it’s been The Lion King every single night) and he falls asleep before I get to the end. If he doesn’t, I just tell him that’s it, it’s night time and I love him and turn off all of the lights. He doesn’t scream but he does get angry. He hasn’t been coming into my room as much, or he will come in at around 6am and sleep with me for about an hour and then wake up.
OMG, I feel for you…
As you know we have had a lot of issues with Leilah and going down for naps/bed time this year. She was the best sleeper up until that point too – just like Noah.
Then, like Noah, she started screaming every time we put her to bed. Running to the door, trying to run downstairs, screaming that she wants to sleep in ‘mummy’s bed’… But again like Noah if put into our bed she wouldn’t sleep. Nor will she sleep if we stay in her room. She also started waking up at odd hours in the middle of the night doing the same thing!! It was so stressful because 1)I didn’t know why it was happening and 2) I didn’t know what to do about it.
Basically we just did what you are doing with Noah. We would put her back into bed, give her a kiss, make sure she had her lovies and try to leave. She would be up and out of the room nearly faster than we were!! This continued for ages
But she stopped doing it and started going to bed with no problems again. She stopped waking up in the middle of the night too…
Until yesterday…
And now it looks like it has started again
So no advice because we are going through the same thing!
Nap times seems fine again yesterday and today. We will see how he goes tonight. Luckily he does not wake up overnight or if he does he just wants us to tuck him back in.
To be honest I think he might be having issues with the dark so I am wondering if a night light would help him.
I was researching 2.5-3 year old sleep regression and it really seems to be a real thing that a lot of toddlers go through. I think he is just understanding things a lot more and thinking more exciting stuff will happen if he stays awake but he is grumpy if he does stay awake which is no fun for everyone.
all my kids still nap at kinder (although Shou’s is only an hour now and he doesn’t go to bed till 9 as a result) and I agree – kids at two and a half still need to nap. I feel your pain in that. That said Shou and Marina now don’t nap much when they are at home during nap time – its the kinder group thing. Tis like a magic nap spell. Don’t spose you’re ready for Noah to go to kinder? My kids have all had sleep regression problems though – I remember feeling very distraught but now I can’t even really spell out what happened. It seemed to be over without me realizing. Although I do envision hysterical laughing and poo poo wee chinchin problems when Ryu and Marina start bunking together in a week or so. Joy joy.
Come to think of it – I did get some good advice. I didn’t think so at the time of course, I thought bloody hell I want my time I don’t want to have to do that – and then I did it and things were less stressful.
The advice was to take a book with a reading light and sit outside the room with the door open a bit so child knew you were there – but not in the room singing or patting. Some nights I take my computer and earphones and sit in the hallway and watch TV or translate for forty minutes or until my wine needs refilling. Doing exactly what I’d be doing downstairs anyway only I don’t have to listen to hub slurping noodles or sucking watermelon. Almost the better deal
Good luck.
xxx
Thanks GW. I usually do sit outside their rooms until they are all quiet because going up and down the stairs over and over again does not appeal to me. I will sit on the floor with my phone outside Noah`s room and go in and out. If I leave the door open at all though he just gets out of bed and comes over but sometimes I open it and whisper “I am still here. I am waiting til you fall asleep” and close the door again.
So far it doesn`t seem to be disturbing Shion too much, thankfully.
Nah, not ready to send them to hoikuen. I don`t qualify for public hoikuen anyway. Noah will start yochien at 4 and Shion at the same time at 3. At least that is the current plan. I have until October to decide if I will put him in from next April or April 2014. We are leaning more towards 2014 and I will just have to gaman until then
DD
Oh yeah I wanted to add that I usually make Alex do some really really serious hard play, enough to make sure that he is tired enough for a nap and has a really full lunch. I make sure everything is off and it is pretty dark, let him look at some books, sometimes watch sesame street or something and let him doze off like that. I don’t make a big deal out of it because if I do then he won’t want to do it. Sometimes I use reverse psychology when he is acting sleepy but being a turd about it and tell him he CAN’T go to sleep (sometimes I’ll add that I’m going to sleep without him, and he has to stay awake!) and that will get him to lay down and close his eyes pretty fast after he says “NOOO!! ALEX SLEEP TOO!!” then I’ll say “OK honey come sleep then!” … I dunno, just what I do. He doesn’t take a nap everyday, though. If he didn’t do much all day… And he usually goes to sleep at around 9 on the days he does take a nap because he just isn’t sleepy yet.
Maybe you could try adjusting their bedtime to a later time since the sun is still … kinda up, at 7:30 or so right now. His body might be confused because it is still dusk and not pitch black.
Thanks Sam- for this comment and the comment above also.
Noah doesn`t nap everyday either or sometimes if we are out and about he might only nap 30 minutes. They do go to bed early though at 7 or 7:30 most nights because by that point I am exhausted after trying to entertain them both and they fight and push a lot right now so I rarely “sit” while they are awake unless it is on the floor playing with them. I would let Noah stay up later if he wasn`t obviously tired/grumpy and in need of the rest.
Lol at the reverse psychology. I am thinking of putting a futon on the floor in Noah`s room and lying down on it til he falls asleep if this continues. Not saying anything, not patting. Just laying. I tried that the other night for 2 nights though {except I just lay on the floor- not so comfty} and 45-1 hour in and he was still awake so he can`t seem to self-settle if I am in the room but we will see.
Hoping it passes soon!
DD did the same thing but it only lasted about a week. This was just last week in fact. Then, as quickly as it started, she was back to normal. We didn’t really have to “do” anything except put up with it for a week or so. DD just wanted DH in the room with her singing until she fell asleep. In her case it also started with a day or two of being sick. She came into our room in the middle of the night a couple of times when she was sick and then started having problems falling asleep. But this week she’s been falling asleep just fine. She is also particular, I think most 2 year olds are. DD needs to have her blanket and her paci, her 2 fans on, her nightlight on, he mosquito zapper on, and she needs to turn all of these things on by herself (!) for it to count, lol.
With regards to naps we do the same thing with DD , if we’re out and about we don’t push it but if we’re at home we do still enforce naptime. She gets regular naps at kindy too. I know you’re not planning on putting them into kindy next year but it is something that is very good for their schedules as everything happens at exactly the same time every day and for all the kids and something about seeing 15 other kids do the same thing makes their naptime less of a struggle I think. When DS had started kindy he was 3.5 and actually had given up on naps already and then when he started kindy after about 3 months at school he started napping again because everyone else was and he didn’t want to be left out. Once you do start kindy they will probably enforce naptime anyhow (even at 4) so it is a habit you do not want to break at home otherwise it could lead to struggles later on if you have the one non-napping kid in a class full of nappers (I’ve been there — so glad DS decided on his own to start napping again!).
Must be the age. Little man standing up and crying or screaming when i leave. Started last week, when woke up crying late in the evening. Will usually stop soon, i might go in if it takes long, but more often then not going in will mean to start all over again, so i wait.
Popping over via Life On Planet Baby. You’ve brought back memories of our many sleepless nights which we’ve tried to forget
My only thought is white noise or soothing music. I hope all of you are sleeping soundly again quickly.